a few things:

1. did you know that drinking unpasteurised apple juice can cause childhood leukemia? oh, and amongst other things, fried bacon, processed meats and salted fish are also highly carcinogenic.

2. me and tung did the class yearbook page (i did the text and tung did the pics) and as a result i had to spend the whole of monday en garde because half the world wanted to kill me. and hey, i was just being honest man, nothing else. i mean, someone's gotta do the dirty work right? and since nobody else wanted to do the damn yearbook page, it's not my fault that i backstabbed/slandered/insulted the rest of the class in the process now, is it?

3. our class highly pissed off our CT with our lacklustre ORA donation efforts. in fact, half of us handed in practically NIL replies. anyway, i'm personally against collecting money for the ORA. firstly, i think that it's not highly in need of the money- ie there isn't going to be any major catastrophe if it doesn't get the money, apart from a few people not being able to attend RJ, which is quite the opposite of catastrophic, if you ask me. in contrast, there are lots of underfunded charities and nonprofit organizations which could really use the money for better things, such as buying food for poor people and looking after dying old folks. and since people have limited finances and obviously can't donate to every single charity (without ending up in one themselves), they have to be selective about where they put their money. which means that for every donation you collect for the ORA, that much is less likely to be donated to some other cause. think about it- you might be indirectly responsible for some poor old folk not getting his medication! and, even if we should support the ORA fund because of the fact that we're rafflesian and this is a school thing, then i'd like to remind them that for lots of us, filling up the yellow donation card means forgoing a sum of our weekly allowance- and doesn't that detract from the whole purpose of improving the lives of the student population? what's the point of asking people who might potentially benefit from the fund to donate to it in the first place? hello?

omg. i need to sleep!

much has happened since i last blogged! it'll probably take me all night to type everything here, so i think i'll just pick out the more interesting incidents. actually though, since i don't really care about how interesting this is to you (because, as with the casino issue, i believe it is far better to exercise one's freedom of choice, and just -not- gamble if one is so against it, rather than to restrict the liberty of everybody else by demanding governmental restrictions) , i think i shall just pick out the more significant incidents which i feel are vital in your understanding of yours truly.

- i have had an epiphany. it has suddenly occured to me that, at the rate i'm going, i should probably start aiming to make it to Republic Polytechnic by the time i'm 40. i am getting Bad Grades, and with the exception of my CT who seems to think that i am 'putting in a lot of effort', my other tutors are Not Impressed. i don't know why but lately all of them seem to be going around as if they've got something perpetually stuck up their ass, like our friend the corpse who consistently spends 99% of her lesson nagging, and the other 1% of it asking us to copy stuff off the OHP while simultaneously using her free hand to cover parts of the transparency in a highly irritating and synchronised fashion. fifi, in particular, has recently threatened to not write testimonials for anybody who steps into class after he does- a striking double standard since -he- is the one who's been spotted making his class wait outside the 2nd floor physics lab while unhurriedly eating a banana in the canteen. oh, and another quotable quote from fifi:

"now, we have to be very clear about one thing. when we construct circuits, we have to be aware that there are varying degrees of lightness. for example, there is dim, dimmer, and very dim".

is it any wonder why more than half the class fails physics???

- i've changed my glasses!!! after my last pair of glasses was supposed to change colour when exposed to sunlight but -didn't- (i wonder if the salesguy was just pulling a fast one on me, hmMmMm..), i decided to opt for something a little different. well, radically different! i now have these bright red plastic framed things, which, i perceive, make me look more intellectual. in fact my dad said that i could almost pass off as a -graduate- with them, to which my mom promptly said that my specs were still "ridiculous" and that she couldn't understand why he was "encouraging this nonsense". hmph. hurteth my feelings, no! anyway, xiangwei commented that i look like a "slutty secretary" with the glasses, and predicted that in future i was likely to sleep with my boss. really nice, positive remarks all around, i must say. ah well, i only have to wear these glasses for another 2 weeks till my contacts (which had to be sent back to australia for adjustment) are ready, so i think i shall soldier on bravely till then.

- my PC has been infected by spyware again. nowadays, the most common annoyance is this pop-up browser which keeps telling me that my penis isn't large enough and that it should see miracles with enlargement pills. well, newsflash, but i have no penis in the first place- so take that, stupid spyware. one day when i'm rich and powerful i'll write my own virus code and create this pop-up that says "not pleased with your performance? click here for cheap viagra!". and then, i'll mass infect all my employees' computers, so that whenever someone clicks for cheap viagra, it'll be tracked by the system. then i'll post all the results on the company database and have a good laugh. prospective april fools' joke in the making!

- erica's birthday happened yesterday. the girls conspired to get her a hilarious bunch of really erica-ish presents:

1. a roxy water bottle with blue polka dots and a retarded button-operated flap thing, ala primary school.
2. a pig that flies. seriously. it's this little plastic pig with wing-like thingies attached to it, so that when you connect this little piece on it to the ceiling, the pig actually flies around in circles above the room. highly funny!
3. bridget jones panties! actually we wanted to get her these really lacy and gaudy granny panties and make sure she opened it in front of all the guys, but in the end we couldn't find anything sufficiently embarrassing. so we wrote "Fei Fei we (heart) you" at the seat of the panties with bright fabric paint. we only hope she doesn't take josie's advice and use it as superhero outerwear!
4. we took her to coffee bean during break and forced her to eat a whole slice of tiramisu- because everybody knows that calories have birthdays too, and are too busy celebrating to stick around on your special day!

really though, i think the highlight of her day must have been right at the start of math lecture, when, in front of the fully filled LT2, 4 hot (well mostly they were Very Hot, with the exception of 1 of them being Quite Fugly) j1 guys announced that they would "like to see erica". and, after erica managed to squeal her way down to the front of the LT, the Very Hot guy produced a bunch of flowers and got down on his knees and said "i would like you to have these". *pause, and deep breath* OH MY GOSH!!!! all the 3j girls almost DIED! like really, it was just a dream moment. ruined only, perhaps, by erica's constant background squealing. anyhow, we later found out that therbo had arranged it as a surprise for her- and whoa, what a surprise it was! i'd like to see any of the guys get a birthday present that tops that!

- i have finished all my bio SPAs! which means, that i will never have to sit for another bio skill A-D for my whole entire life! like, do you have any idea what a relief that is??? and i didn't even screw up the final skill A, so that means that i ended on a good note too. finally, the sign of more good things to come!

i have tonsilitis!

for those of you who have read my previous post and are wondering if this is some random variation of the common gastric flu: it is not. i really am down with some shit. irony wins on this count :(

so really, today has been a shittifying end to an equally shittifying week. i have been alternating between mechanical sniffling and breathing through my mouth, which is an incredibly frustrating combination. don't believe me? try it yourself. plus, this probably only means that more pathogens are entering my mouth and being caught in my tonsil, causing it to be even more inflammed. yesterday i woke up croaking like a stupid frog, and even had to forgo the mandatory 2 shots of morning caffeine for fear of losing my voice. my only weakness now is chocolate, which i have been consuming compulsively to tide over my depression.

in fact, the only thing that was marginally OK about today was playing floorball. i guess you can always trust sports to get your mind off things, especially since you have to split your concentration between protecting your feet from overzealous goal attempts and dodging flying beads of perspiration. that said, i have this feeling that floorball was probably not the sort of activity that i should be doing when partially disabled by tonsilitis. but what the hell, i can't very well sit about and moan about it the whole day, can i?

saw kitson just now (briefly) before the press play concert thingy which he was attending. marc joe has been bugging all of us to attend it for the past few weeks, but somehow i just feel very disinclined to the idea. the thought of staying back late in school on a friday night to have fun just seems wrong. plus there's no way i'm paying any money to get back into a lecture theatre which i already spend half my time trying to escape from.

anyway. kitson (who never fails to amuse) was apparently very proud that he had some new bit of gossip about me: involving joseph. now, josie and i hang around a lot so i can get why people might think we're together, but for the record this couldn't be further from the truth. we spend half the time suanning each other and the other half the time helping the other strategize "war plans". (love, as we all know, is a form of war). i'm only troubled because josie is happily married to theody (well, practically at least) and i don't want people getting the wrong idea about him or his relationship with her. they're quite the enduring couple and i envision 9 kids coming from it, enough to start josie's own soccer team. so there.

and i'm feeling fat, bloated and lazy now. i need to eat more chocolate.

on a parting note: ever tasted a melted cadbury chocolate block? i left this half-eaten block (the family sized ones that come with a purple wrapper) out on the patio the other day, and only remembered it the next evening. by then, it had become this disgusting lump of brown substance, only held together by the thinnest solid layer. anyway, i took one look at it and thought "gross, this looks like shit" and walked away. but then, the unsatisfied chocolate radar went haywire and i decided to just give it a try for future comparison. and i'm damn glad i did too: it was heaven. it was like the moment i bit into the thing all the liquid chocolate just oozed out into my mouth. it must have sent my glucose levels skyrocketing for the next hour or so, but whatever. try it someday!

I'm In Pain!!!

one minute ago, i was happily sitting on my swivel chair. 59 seconds ago, i stretched to get something from the table on my right, and THE CHAIR ROLLED OVER MY TOE!

i swear, i have never been so aware of the existence of the fourth toe on my left foot in my whole life.

anyway, i'm sure that those of you who have been in similar predicaments will sympathise fully with me. similarly, i'm also aware that there are others who have never had the opportunity to experience this sensation before, and are therefore unable to comprehend the gravity of the situation.

but fret not: those of you who have never had your toes rolled over by a swivel chair, try this little experiment in the convenience of your home!

--
Apparatus and Materials:
1 swivel chair

Detailed Procedure:
Step 1.
Obtain swivel chair. Check that it is functioning properly, ie the wheels swivel smoothly around their points of pivot.

Step 2.
Sit on the chair and ensure that your body weight rests squarely on the seat of the chair. The soles of your feet should touch the ground and your toes should be pointing forwards.

Step 3.
Place your left foot slightly to the left and position it such that the toes are 45 degrees west of your right foot. Incline the heel if necessary.

Step 4.
With a rapid and forceful motion, use your right foot to propel the chair backwards, such that one or more of the wheels travel directly over the toes of your left foot.

Step 5.
Observe reaction and tabulate in a coherent and cohesive manner.

Step 6.
Repeat steps 1-5 to obtain an average and confirm that there are no anomalous results.

--

which reminds me, i'm having bio SPA skill A on thursday, and, horror of horrors-- my class is taking the paper on the first day!! which means there is no possibility of you-know-what! and needless to say, this is quite serious as you-know-what is especially vital during bio Skill As where there's barely enough time to write down what's already been processed and packaged in one's brains. you-know-what could save your life!

i have a feeling that i'll somehow be stricken with severe gastric flu on thursday. in fact, i can feel it forming already!

meant to post something a few days ago, but i realised that it seemed marginally evangelistic after i typed it, and since that's some territory to be tread with care, i decided against posting it.

anyway, there's been so much in the news about the late pope, and what's really surprised me is how much impact his death has had at large- i never knew the catholic church was 1.1 billion strong; i always thought the figure was around half of that. and, they estimate that 2 million have already filed past to pay their last respects, which goes to show that a significant proportion of the 1.1 billion may actually be practicing and faithful catholics too. i wish that i could somehow be at the vatican city now and be able to part of the atmosphere of prayer and pilgrimage. if it doesn't do wonders for my own faith, it will at least be a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

religion, i guess, is ultimately a very personal commitment, and something unique to each person. i'm increasingly beginning to accept that only those who are called can respond with the type of faith that any religion requires, but at the same time i wonder how there can be so many people who enter and allow themselves to be led blindly, even if for all their trust they never witness a miracle. and i wish too that i could have that kind of faith, but the truth is that it took many miracles and spiritual encounters for me to believe as i do now- the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak .

and again, i am bordering on the overly religious, so i shall stop now.

today is april fools' day, and so far, it's been quite a blast.

to start off, the 3j girls began by poisoning the guys. well not exactly poisoning. but what we did was bake chocolate chip cookies for them, except that the cookies were made with cookie dough and wasabe powder + chilli padi seeds + pepper + salt + vinegar. and like the stupid apes that they are, a lot of the guys just stuffed the whole cookies into their mouths, only to realise later that the spicy and peppery aftertaste was not, in fact, characteristic of chocolate chip cookies. it's only too bad that they're guys and therefore are more immune to disgusting food, because some of them, like bobo, actually looked like they were enjoying it.

then when we told them that we had put laxatives inside the cookies too- and what ensued was a real Kodak moment. man, you should have seen their faces!! if looks could kill, the girls would be dead by now. in fact, darryl almost immediately developed severe diarhorrea and had to rush off to the toilet. that's hilarious because firstly, laxatives take half a day to work, and secondly, we didn't -actually- put any laxatives in. so darryl was purely imagining things, and proving, as miss hor later said, that the psychological placebo effect really always works in guys.

i have some other amusing exploits that i want to type here, but that'll have to wait till later because my brain is slowly, but surely shutting down on me, even as i'm typing this. soon my head will be on the keyboard and then i'll get a neckache when i wake up in the morning, which is undesirable. so goodnight!