whee *half-hearted floppy cheer*

just finished bio S paper prelims and i am now officially screwed beyond belief. what i don't get is why we have to have the S paper prelim before everybody else even sits for their main papers. it's ridiculous! it's like filling your brain with all permutations of knowledge which you really don't need to know- for eg, i'm sure it's really critical to learn about how 5 types of californian salamander have evolved through allopatric speciation- and all for nothing! because ultimately nothing you study ever comes out since we all know that rule no.1 of taking exams is that All Teachers Are Out To Fuck You Over, and so, you should expect nothing less.

read Campbell if you want to do well for bio S, they say. well guess what! after reading almost HALF of the bloody 1200 page affair, i have concluded that campbell indeed makes no fucking difference, especially since what actually comes out for the exam are questions like 'are wetlands major concerns?' or 'describe inter-specific relationships'; in which case all you need to do is really bullshit till your brains fall out or your hands cramp up (whichever comes first) and pray that you'll get the faggotty teacher to mark your script because he doesn't look much brighter than you are.

anyway, seeing as to how fish are one of the fugliest creatures alive and so naturally i know shit about wetlands, and seeing as to how inter-specific relationships would possibly only fill up 2 paragraphs and not 5 pages, i decided to write about how the behaviour of chromosomes during meiosis contributes to observable patterns of inheritance and food biotechnology. for the first essay, i am most positively screwed left right centre because i couldn't remember any of mendel's shitty pea plant experiments, and also couldn't remember if it was a CGG trinucleotide repeat or a CAG repeat which causes Fragile X or whether that even constitutes a chromosomal duplication in the first place. and for the second essay, i ended up spending half the essay talking about how poor eritrean kids were starving because Bt-corn was never distributed to them, and the other half of the essay talking about how the bacillus acidophilus in yakult and saccharomyces cerevisae in lactose-free milk are good for us- which would actually be pretty accurate if not for the fact that it's LACTObacillus acidophilus and KLUYVEROMYCES LACTIS. saccharomyces cerevisae is a yeast culture. hooray.

and also, i said that maltate is this revolutionary artificial sweetener which is 1000 times more concentrated than sugar so it helps create low-calorie foods. except that it's MALTITOL and maltate doesn't even exist.

teehee can you say screwed!

as part of my plan to get into university and take over the world, i have decided to become a nerd. and, after months of carefully observing the specimens around me and determining which ones best encapsulate my proposed image, i have decided that this is how i will accomplish it:

(PRC scholars and faggots beware!)

HAIR:
1. will be cut till just below the ears
2. fringe will be kept short and 1cm above the eyebrows
3. clips and other accessories will be removed permanently

UNIFORM:
1. shirt will be creased (optional: and with a slightly yellowish tinge)
2. sleeves will be unfolded
3. skirt will begin above the waist and stop below the knees
4. shirt will be tucked tightly into skirt, with no outfoldings

SHOES:
1. will be white canvas

SOCKS:
1. will reach till mid-calf and be mismatched

SPECTACLES:
1. gold rimmed with those blackish rubber grips for the ear
2. frame will be perfectly circular and about 6cm in diameter

BAG:
1. trolley bag so that i can be near mugging materials anytime, anywhere

CONVERSATION:
1. shall be limited to fellow elite members of the nerd club
2. will revolve primarily around pythagoras/darwin and disproving their formulae

--
as you can see, i'm all set to rape prelims!

i just remembered some update that i could post after all!

it's the results of my Detox Diet!!! *insert drumroll and maybe a few preppy cheerleaders*

anyway, the purpose of the great Detox was to Save Face, which means that it was supposed to help me clear up the acne explosion that is my face. and now, it gives me great pleasure to announce that the diet was a complete FAILURE and detoxing had NO EFFECT on my pimples whatsoever. not immediately, at least, and this is important because we all know that diets are for desperate people who don't have time to spend the next 10 years waiting for results! i mean yah maybe fat takes a bit longer to melt so we should be patient and all, but pimples are like localised little shitlumps and you can just burst them with your fingers! by right they should clear faster shouldn't they? *ponders*

anyway my theory with pimples is that they oscillate cyclically, much like simple harmonic motion and actually -other- cycles too in fact. so it's like one moment you're enjoying a relatively smooth-ish exterior, and then before you know it, POOF! suddenly you have a whole map of the moon on your face, because pimples like to pop up in pairs, and trios and extended families too! so they all explode at the same time and turn bright red and ripe together, like happy little red mangoes on a tree. and then, when they're finally ripe for the picking, they start falling off like little transparent-ish daddylonglegs, except that you never actually get to appreciate this stage of renewed smooth skin because you never reach it! that's right- just before you're due to have some semblence of normality, ANOTHER band of pimples appears in full glory and explodes in just the places their predecessors vacated!

which means that we're all doomed to be pimply for the rest of our lives.

oh oh, actually the Detox Diet does work to a small extent, the small extent being that it really does feel good on the inside after a while. as in after eating like fruits and veggies and nonoily things like that, you dont actually feel the oil diffusing through your pores, and so that feels kinda good yeah. but then again it better damn well be, since that's the only good thing about the whole diet.

or maybe it just needs more than a week HMMM =\ vanity is more trying than imagined!

i think i've been neglecting this space a little!

the sad story of my life is that my PC truly and fully hung about 2 weeks ago, and till a few days ago i've been internet-less and computer-less. virtually, at least, since it's such a pain to use the downstairs comp as it involves traversing one flight of stairs, and that's one flight too many on a typical sedentary day.

anyway, it's not like you've missed much since nothing new's been happening in my life. the only difference is that i'm somehow no longer feeling stressed about prelims, which can only mean bad things along the lines of slacking and indifference. oh, and also, i have developed a great dislike to a certain computer game called PUZZLE FIGHTER. incidentally too, my distaste appears to be mirrored by most of the female population, which brings me to conclude that puzzle fighter is indeed evil and all guys should be banned from coming within 100m of a computer bearing such temptation!

like seriously, i don't get what's so fun about the damn game. i mean, i understand how it'd be cool to play it once or twice, or maybe even for like a few rounds a day- but to be ADDICTED to game of coloured bubbles is just beyond belief! it's not even like shopping where there's always the promise of spending money and buying new stuff and it's not even like eating where you get to physically indulge in the taste of food! it's just some stupid flat screen which doesn't even have feelings! when was the last time your computer talked to you??? can people actually tell that you've won ten straight rounds of puzzle fighter when they see you on the street??? i don't think so! what satisfaction can you get from beating an inanimate object???

if only all men were women, we could all bitch and go shopping together and the world would be a better place indeed!