the As are over.
like, really.

even though yesterday's bio S kinda sucked i'm glad it's over. and, just as i predicted, post-As euphoria was anti-climatic, particularly since my mom interrupted the first few minutes of it by informing me that i'm supposed to go for major back surgery in a few weeks time. ooh yay, what a fun way to spend the holidays. plus i get to see my favourite doctor, The Butcher, on friday, which is usually enough to keep me depressed for a week or two. i keep telling my parents that The Butcher looks EXACTLY like that asshole Burns from the simpsons, and even talks and moves like him too, but they insist that i'm imagining things. well The Butcher is going to be fucking around with my back soon so i better stop giving him dirty sideways glances already. which reminds me, i have to practice being non-vulgar or else i might start swearing profusely when i wake up from general anesthesia and i foresee that will NOT be a pretty situation especially since my parents think the most i'm capable of is "bloody shit" and harmless things like "crap" and "shoot" and "shucks". so, from now on, fuck fucking fuckers and stuff like that will be off the vocab. time to PG-fy things ;p HAHA

anyway, in much happier news i had a late lunch at the fish & co glass house then watched prime yesterday. i actually really liked the show because it's really hilarious at some parts and it's filmed in a really artsy new yorky kinda way, but i HATED the ending. uma thurman looks really gross close up and she's like this 37-year old going out with a 23-year old kid, but i guess ultimately you always kinda wish that the guy and the girl get together. except uma thurman tells him this is not to be while they're having sex, so you're like WHAT???? and how the film ends is that "one year later", he goes back to this restaurant to pick up the hat which he's left behind, and sees her sitting at the table with a group of friends. so he frantically takes the hat and scurries out, but turns back just as he leaves the door, and uses his fingers to clear a hole in the frosty window so that he can look at her. then she looks out the window and sees his face through the hole in the frost and they both smile at each other. and for a moment there i thought yay they're going to get back together. but guess what, that's when the credits start rolling. WHAT HAPPENED TO THE HAPPY ENDING??? if only all movies were like you've got mail, the world would be a better place.

today i went shopping with my sis for some retail therapy. we left the house at 11 and got back at 9. as you would imagine from 10 hours of almost nonstop walking on heels, my feet have lost all sensation. the good thing is that today was very productive cos i got a pair of really gorgeous shoes plus a red lacy top and long gypsy-ish white skirt. which means that today's damage was also very sizeable, but since it's for the prom and my cousin's wedding, it's all necessary :p plus i have been deprived of all opportunity to spend money in like the past 2 months so i need to make sure i don't forget how to.

oh and just now when me and my sis were sitting on the benches outside taka and resting our poor tortured feet, we saw this little white chihuahua. it actually looked really cute running about because it's like so small and so fast, and i was surprised that i didn't feel an immediate aversion to it like i usually do to all moving animals. which was when my sister piped in that 'wouldn't it be cool if we could get a small, shit-less dog?' haha. i'm glad i'm not the only freak in this world.

the past 2 days have been shitty :( by a stroke of luck i came down with food poisoning and a seriously sprained back yesterday, so there wasn't much to do apart from alternating between rolling about on my bed and splaying myself out on my yoga mat feeling miserable. and whenever i drank water it would press against my stomach and that would start to hurt, and when i sat down or walked my back would hurt. and i realise now that my back is really fucked beyond fucked but i'm not looking forward to surgery either so it's kinda like being stuck between a Rock and a Hard Place, except the rock is current intermitten fuckdom and the hard place is prospective complete fuckdom. if you get what i mean.

anyway bio S is my last paper and it's so bloody unfair it is! while everyone's out playing and going yay the A levels are over here i am feeling too guilty to play but not motivated enough to study. because there's like so much to study that it's all become nothing much at all. i'm not talking rubbish- you know how it is when there's just like a billion things to do that you don't know where to start or how you're going to finish or whether it'll even make a difference? it's sorta like bio S is going to be monday's Hard Place, i can just feel it. which is why in times like this the only thing to do is to crawl back into bed and hide under the blanket, because when you sleep you forget how screwed you are. that is, until you wake up and remember that you're still screwed. haha, gotcha!

oh and just now i was in church and right behind me was like this row of coughing people. i know people can't help it when they cough and i should stop being discriminatory and a meanerifix to sick people, but the fact is that people CAN cover their mouths when they cough or at least make an effort to not cough straight at the person in front of them. except today i happened to be stuck with this very considerate row of coughers who kept coughing huge loud gross coughs with their mouths wide open and the germs flying out all over the place. and then, one of the coughers SPAT ONTO ME. and i was wearing a sleeveless blouse so like the spit landed right on my arm! and it wasn't even healthy person spit, it was Coughy Spit! omg it was like instant total grossification!!!! plus if you know what a hygiene freak i am and how phobic i am of little germs and microbes then you'll know that this was a very serious situation indeed. and then it was like just at the start of The Lord's Prayer so i kept having to pray for the evil mean thoughts to go away so that i wouldn't turn around and give the gross cougher a really dirty look. plus i had to try very hard to refrain from taking a tissue and wiping my arm because that would have been very obvious that i was grossed out by the flying spitball, although i'm curious to know if it's bad manners to do that given the circumstance. hmm.

and so people, the moral of the story is always cover your mouth when you cough!

was flipping through Digital Life today and have fallen in love with the new sony cyber-shot DSC-NR1. it's 8.1 megapix, 3.8 x 2.4 x 0.9 inches, 151g and DAMN BLOODY CHIO! so, in case you've got like $899 in spare change, and you're wondering what to get me for christmas this year, here's a suggestion:




it'll only be out towards the later part of the month, but don't worry too much about that because hey i can wait a few days ;)

sigh. that's what i hate about technology. every time you get some new gadget and think that it's the hottest cutest thing ever, in a few days some new thing pops up and you feel really cheated because you know should have got that and not this. by this i'm referring to my canon ixus which is black and actually pretty darn chio in its own right, BUT at 4 megapix it just can't compare! oh well. i shall comfort myself by remembering that that's 50% less pimples on my face and anyway nobody looks that great in close-ups...

anyway, moving on from cameras...

my new favourite sports car is the 2005 jaguar xk8. it's too longish in the front and abit abrupt at the back so it's definitely not as chio as the classic xk 120 of the 1950s:


the classic xk 120- die, merc!

BUT with a 4.2 litre V8 engine, 300-400 brake horsepower, acceleration of 0-60 in 6.1s and torque of 303lb-ft at 4100 rpm, it sounds pretty good to me! if you're concerned about which colour i'd like best, notice too that i have a thing for red:




when i'm rich and famous, i'll have a garage full of jaguars and maybe lamborghinis, that is, if they start coming up with nice cars again. the current gallardo and murcielago models are all too boxy and angular- i mean, what do they think this is, a batman movie??? wake up dudes! plus, it helps if you have a pronounceable name, i would think.

teehee :p off to study bio S now :p

the other day i was reading the Mind Your Body supplement which comes with the papers every wednesday, and this teenage girl was asking what she could do to improve her boobs and whether it was abnormal to not have huge boobs. in case you think you know where this is leading to, i am NOT talking about myself. i swear!

anyway the Mind Your Body consultant gave like this pagelong reply to the poor girl's queries, which really made me wonder what kind of perverts we have running our press. because i've been reading that column for over a year, and i happen to know that even stuff like colorectal cancer and spinal fractures only get responses that are one-third a page long, max. i guess this is logical because we all know you're better off with a terminal disease than small boobs.

so what i was really interested in posting about was how the doctor suggested that "one way to increase the size of your breasts is to actually gain weight". really! i'd like to think that you could eat your way to a better figure, but experience tells me that this never happens. i'm not sure if maybe i'm like the only loser with a defective anatomy or something, but i tend to notice that when you put on weight, the first place it shows up in is your face, then your hips, then your butt and legs, arms, and stomach. and then after all these radical transformations take place to make you look more attractive, maybe a gram or two of fat will deposit itself in the area around your boobs. which won't be noticeable because people will be too busy telling you that you look "more healthy" and "radiant" and "well fed".

so much for eating to get bigger boobs.

oh and if you're a chem student you'd have learnt about transition metals and how 4s electron orbitals get filled before 3d orbitals, but also lose electrons first during ionisation. well, it's the exact opposite with weight gain- the boobs grow last and get lost first. and i remember my sec2 science teacher saying something about how adipose tissue always gets burnt from non-vital areas first, so i know i'm not talking rubbish.

3 papers to freedom!

I COMPLETELY TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT KENDRA BEING THE APPRENTICE!!

since it's only chem MCQ tomorrow, i snuck in some much needed TV Time and watched the last 3 season3 apprentice episodes. KENDRA POWER!!! i know i said that kendra doesnt have the generic apprentice look and implied that a guy would make a better employee for trump, but i now stand corrected. kendra's only 26 and has started her own real estate company and once sold 22 condos in less than a week. plus she's inspiring, motivated, and apart from her irritating way of jerking her head to the side when she talks, is the nicest, smartest, and cutest person on the show ever.

in fact i'm so inspired by kendra and trump that i've decided to go into real estate. the way i see it, that's where all the money is. imagine if you make a 1% commission on every property you sell, and you sell like 22 condos in a week. so this adds up to $10 000 x 22 which is like $220 000 a week, almost as much as an EPL player! and you don't even need a degree or anything, just a CEHA license which you can apparently study for in less than 2 months! what's 2 months next to the bloody A levels, huh?

PLUS if you go into property development from there, you could possibly make even more obscene profits from buying shitholes and renovating them till they look posh and pricey. that's how trump amassed part of his $2.5 billion- from buying cheap strips of land in prime districts and redeveloping them. and since trump is THE most charismatic person and kendra the smartest youngest successful woman i've ever seen, i'm now going to spend the next few years cultivating a trump-kendra personality so that i'll be a billionaire before i'm 40. and then people will start asking me to tell them the secrets to my success and maybe i might even get to have my own reality TV show.

HAH!

now that i've like put 10 papers behind me and only have 4 more ahead, it's like i can see the light at the end of the tunnel. it's as if for the past 2 weeks or so i've been having an out of body experience- you know like when people are having a life-threatening op and they say they can see the surgeon screwing around with their heart and things like that- and like days and weeks suddenly merge into blocks of "Before the As" and "After the As" and "During the Paper" chunks of time. i guess it's kinda exciting in a way because like when you have a paper that ends at 5.30 one day and another one which starts at 8 the next, when you reach home it's like you suddenly have this burst of fire and start mugging like your life depends on it. and then when you finally go to sleep, you dream about physics formulae. and, if you're paranoid like i am, you wake up at 4.30 to practice physics until it's time to leave the house, at which point you know that This Is It.

and i guess it's weird but after like studying more physics and math in the past few days than i have in the last 10 years of my life COMBINED, it's like it suddenly feels very strange when you put down your pen at the end of 2.5 hours and know that you'll never touch the subject again. it's almost like not wanting to let go of something, especially something which you started off hating majorly but in retrospect really isn't so bad. ALMOST, hahaha.

anyway just now my mom was asking how physics went and i was like "oh, that's the end of physics" and she was like laughing away, probably thinking that her daughter is so cute and silly. but i, i'm the only only one who knows that it's really the end of physics, and that, combined with similar sentiments about math, is not a comforting thought at all.

in fact i'm kinda taking a break now because i finally have NO PAPER tomorrow, which is a miracle considering that i've been having 3 days of double papers in the past 10 days. and yesterday, when i set my alarm for 5 am so that i could wake up early to practice chem- and i swear 2 hours of furious calculator work in the morning really puts you in a lot better shape during the exam- for some reason i woke up at 3.30, read my watch upside down and without my specs, and thought that it was actually 6.30 and that i had overslept. so of course i started swearing and jumping up and down thinking that i'm royally screwed this time. eventually i had the good sense to put on the light and my glasses and realised that it was actually still early but you know, it's never good to swear and jump up and down the first thing in the morning. in fact i realise that i've trained myself really well, because nowadays i actually automatically wake up like at 4.50, 10 minutes before i set my alam even. it's like i've some innate biological clock that gets activated during exams. all i have to do is think about wanting to wake up at 5 the next day, and, almost without fail, i wake up within 10 minutes of that time without an alarm. yes i know this confirms i am a freak.

oh and on tuesday, just before the physics paper, i had a huge panic attack. because i took out my notes for a "quick run through" a few hours before the paper, and like suddenly it seemed like i'd never seen some of the formulae in my life. and then i started thinking i'm screwed i'm screwed i'm going to forget everything like a fat lazy retard and ruin my life. and then mark started telling me that my "mind is like a palace" where you only think about the "doors" because behind these doors, apparently, are rooms of wisdom. and all you need to do is like locate the door. which just made me think that i'm even more screwed because I HAVE NO FRIGGIN DOOR and then i started envisioning a sandcastle instead and guess what suddenly i also envisioned that there was this high tide which came and swept the sandcastle away.

haha.

mark is right. the As are like a terminal disease. every night when i try to go to sleep i get "end of the world thoughts", start thinking about all the work which i haven't done, how screwed i am for which papers, how i'll get a string of everything but As, and then have to resist compulsive urges to jump out of bed and start doing work all over again.

it's like caffeine except not quite.

i'm sick :(

i've got a runny nose, majorly shittifying headache and sore throat. i think this might be psychological because i've already taken the flu jab so i can't be having the flu. the only good news is that the sultry voice is back, and apparently i sound a lot better when i'm hoarse.

and also, after yesterday's LNAT which completely wiped my braincells out- 2 hours cramped up in a tiny cubicle with a computer is no fun- i have decided to start cultivating the 'clutch' mentality. apparently this is some common tactic amongst hardcore CS gamers, and when applied to exams, it means 'picking out the right answer out of 4'. which might not sound like a big deal to you, but when i look at how much a certain someone studies and the kind of grades he gets, i'm inclined to think that there's some truth to this clutch mentality after all.

clutch clutch clutch clutch clutch!

i know this might be getting personal, but has anyone used biore pore pack before?

i used to laugh at people who said they used the pore pack on their nose because i'd remember the hilarious commercial where the jap girl sits on a step and sways her legs from left to right while waiting for the pore pack to dry on her nose. but now, i laugh no more. you see, recently since i've kept off chocolates and oily stuff (well, tried to at least) and started using Neutrogena's acne cream, my pimples have cleared up considerably, leaving only masses of acne scars and blackheads. which of course won't do because which loser waits her whole life for her pimples to go away only to have them replaced by colonies of blackheads???

so anyway, the first time i used it was last week, but i think i must have not wet it enough when i stuck it on, and also ripped it off with too much flamboyance because the resolute little blackheads remained firmly intact. i was just about to conclude that my nose was beyond saving, but decided to give it another shot yesterday. this time, i stuck it down super hard, left it to dry super long, and pulled it off super slow. and lo and behold, when i looked at the strip after detaching it from my nose, i saw MOUNDS UPON MOUNDS of little brown shit staring back at me. and i thought to myself, YOU MEAN ALL THAT CAME FROM MY NOSE??? hurriedly, i looked at my nose in the mirror and realised that there were little reddish spots at very frequent intervals and was immediately grossed out beyond belief.

which i guess should have been the cue for me to leave it at that, but you know me, i like to take good things and screw them up. anyway so i was examining my nose very intently, and realised that there was region where the brown stuff was like at the surface but not quite pulled off by the pore pack. so i thought, hmm, let's use another one to get rid of this crap! and promptly stuck another pore pack right back on, neglecting of course to heed the warning which says 'please allow 3 days between use'. this time, when i ripped it off i was indeed successful in removing the brown crud, but along with it, i think i ripped off half my nose. because when i looked at the mirror again, all i saw with this indistinct blob of redness where my nose once was. and of course when i rubbed it i realised that it was swollen beyond belief, which goes to show that you should always read instructions.

so that's the sad story of my experience with biore pore pack. i'm not sure exactly how much of your face is supposed to come off with the strips, but according to mark, his look like GRASS once he removes them from his face. and oh, if that's not disgusting enough for you, here's an observation that might be: this morning when i was eating breakfast i looked at the slice of bread on my plate and noticed for the first time that, the geography of little unassuming holes on bread look a lot like how the pore pack does when you first adhere it to your nose and it starts latching on to your blackheads.

oh and a final tip! if, like me, you're plagued with nuclear plantations on your face, try using 2.5% benzoyl peroxide preparations. i know like oxy and clearasil sell 'maximum strength' ones which are between 5-10%, but those irritate your face with prolonged use and cause it to flake, which sort of defeats the purpose. plus it's been clinically proven that 2.5% concentration has the same effectiveness as anything above that, and the only reason why people still sell 10% is because that's the maximum FDA approved limit and desperate people like you and me tend to go for whatever claims to be stronger. i've been using neutrogena's on-the-spot acne treatment for like a month now and it's like a miracle. so you should really trust me on this one because if it works for me, then it'll definitely work for you!

oh and one more thing!

i can't stand it when people say discuss ABOUT. like "let's discuss ABOUT this" or "what are you discusing ABOUT" or "discuss ABOUT the implications of"-- stop being a moron, it's DISCUSS, not discuss about. it's like saying 'let's talk ABOUT ABOUT something'. i know i must sound like some stuckup shit to be getting so irked about bad grammar but really if there's one phrase that irritates me it's this!

if you want to use discuss, it's 'let's dicuss how stupid that sounds' or 'discuss how bad grammar can be highly annoying'. just break the compulsion to say 'about'- it's not that hard, really!

bunnies hop about, bugs fly about, but people don't discuss about!!!

call me a bitch but may i ask if xiaxue's blog is really that great? i mean, if you're bored and looking for something entertaining on the web, there's always maddox. and if you can't stand illustrations of giant penises then why not read the newspapers or something intellectual like berlin or foucault. or if you're looking for something a little less boring, how about trying phone sex? i mean, that's interactive and *ahem* satisfying, perhaps, and probably a much better way to spend all that unchanelled energy- energy that would otherwise be wasted reading something that's of no intellectual value whatsoever.

and, judging by the number of witless fans bloggers these days can amass, i suppose i can expect to be sued now. i actually can't believe that the racist bloggers got JAILED for being racist. it's not like there's anything you can do if someone just doesn't like your face, can you? people hate other people for no reasons all the time; so live with it. in fact i think that the whole court thing might have just attracted unnecesary attention to the fact some people think that certain races behave in certain ways, and i'm guessing many people who have like inherent but latent racist streaks might have suddenly sat up and started remembering having similar feelings, thereby being converted into active racists in the process. it's kind of like how a gene in inactive form is activated by regulator and starts producing functional proteins. so the gene here would be the racist gene, the regulator would be media attention on a stupid blogger and his stupid opinions (which nobody probably gave a fuck about prior to this) and the functional protein would be racist comments. hence leading to a net increase in racism in society and thus perpetuating these apparently baseless stereotypes.

as you can see, my bio knowledge and application skills are in top form.

oh and on another note i just happened to be wondering whether writers or philosophers would be better at phone sex? i mean one would be able to describe your fantasies to their fullest, and the other would be able to "take it to a deeper level". actually, hmm, "higher", not deeper haha. anyway, so i guess the question is something like between style and substance- kinda the way you judge a debate which by the way produces a very bad mental association =x =x =x