i really meant not to blog anymore today but i'm just thoroughly peeved by a few things.

1. i did a really stupid thing today. it goes like this- after shopping for ten thousand years, i finally see the PERFECT pair of shoes. it's a pair of wedges and has some ribbony tie thingy that's made of really nice printed dark pink corduroy, which i instantly fall in love with. plus it would also perfectly match my stupid demure auntie outfit which i have to wear for CNY. anyway it's $69 which makes me feel really sad because i'm not planning on spending that much on shoes since i've already bought like 2 new pairs in the past month. but never mind about that, those were for different occassions and i really do need a pair to match my brown skirt. and matching your shoes is really important because all girls know that you can judge a person by her shoes. anyway, so after all this reasoning i am determined that i will starve if i have to, but i will get those shoes. so i finally ask the salesgirl to help me get a size seven. but then, as luck would have it, ten minutes later the salesgirl returns and there's no size seven! she does have a size six though and maybe i'd like to try those instead? but no, i tell myself that this is surely a sign that those shoes are not meant for me. so i walk out of the store as fast as i can and try to forget about the shoes. but guess what, i can't! all i can think about is that there's this perfect pair of shoes out there and it's just waiting for me to buy it. and the more i think about it, the more uneasy i get. so what do i do? i spend the next 2 hours compulsively storming into all the shoe stores in the WHOLE of the bloody orchard road stretch searching for the exact same pair of shoes in a size seven. eventually, i get a blister and craving for ice cream, but no shoe. anyway so of course i'm completely sad and keep talking about the shoe when i get home. which is when my brilliant sister, who has witnessed the whole saga, decides to pipe up and say 'actually, why did you ask for a seven when you're a SIX?'.

&*!#*$&*!&@$*!*@$&**~&!*~*&%@*!*&+#@#%^$!

omg. i mean, i've definitely done some retarded things in my lifetime, but this has got to take the cake. and the worst thing is that even if i go back and buy the shoes, i won't be able to do it before CNY, and then there'll be no point because i would have already worn my auntie outfit with non-matching shoes! :( :( :( :(

2. on the way home i had to take a completely packed train, and got squashed next to this cheekopek who kept leaning over to hold the bar that was right behind me. i could tell he was one of those leery old men who perv on innocent kids because he was wearing this really rough-looking unbuttoned grey shirt and a GOLD CHAIN and he just had that pervy look on his face. i was so fucking grossed out that i practically impaled myself into the train door in an attempt to get as far away from him as possible. and again i really wished that i was wearing something with sharp heels so that i could do so some damage, but all i had on my feet were the most harmless walking shoes ever. anyway i spent the whole trip giving him the 'fuck off' face but that didn't work, so i was fuming by the time i got off the train. and i thought nobody could get more annoying than parents who let their irritating toddlers who run all over the place and make noise.

sigh. and so that's why today has not been a good day. of course, buying a pair of shoes would have turned everything around, but no, that was not to be. buying shoes is the best kind of therapy. then of course there's always cheesecake and ice cream and champagne and big fat dark red velvety roses which bloom for a week. unfortunately since i have none of these Happy Things i shall just go to sleep soon and hopefully dream about my shoes or something.

yes, i know i am obsessed. goodnight.

ok so my detox was quite a failure. firstly, the avocado milkshake was a complete disaster because during the time in which i left it in the fridge to "chill", i managed to have a nightmare about drinking a horrible puke-coloured drink that tasted just like liquid egg. and guess what, egg is my most hated food of all time and the puke-coloured drink was exactly the same colour as the avocado milkshake. and so i never did succeed in bringing myself to drink it. plus, i will never touch avocado again, not after i've become aware of its similarities to egg.

secondly, on day 3 my mom tempted me with mosburger. i mean, i had held out pretty bravely till then and so i know i have a strong resolve and stuff, but all this determination was clearly no match for the lure of fatty overcooked grease-laden fast food. i know, i'm disgusted with me too. anyway, after 2 days of cabbage and cauliflower soup, anything with rice and meat was like salvation. besides, i kept telling myself that i am after all still a teenager and i need to get my balanced nutrients. what if i get an iron defeciency or something? surely we wouldn't want that!

apart from that, the past week has been pretty busy with driving and coaching. yesterday i managed to stall the car on an uphill junction which could have been potentially disastrous. because i forgot that on uphill slopes you have to release the clutch halfway and balance it before you release the brake, so when the light changed to green i instinctively let go of the brake and hit the accelerator. then of course the engine started jerking and refused to move, so i let go of the clutch completely. and then the car stalled. and so i had to restart the engine, by which time the asshole at the back had started going crazy with the horn. so naturally i got a bit panicky, and THEN, instead of controlling the brake when i started the engine like a normal person, i completely released it, which made the car start to slide backwards, right into the asshole's car. omg i was so scared i could have just let go of the steering wheel and started crying. lucky though, a bit of my brain was still alive and i managed to control the accelerator just millimeters away from collision. and so that is how i nearly crashed the car. then of course there is the story of how i accidentally hit the accelerator instead of the brake at a red light...

otherwise, my life has been pretty uneventful. coaching is the most boring thing in the world, plus i have to use my brain the whole time, which we all know is a bit of a stretch. and i keep having to listen to all these shit speeches, especially from the younger kids, which is actually slightly amusing at the start, but after 3 hours it constitutes torture. how anybody can do this on a volunteer basis is beyond me. somehow, i have this really stinking feeling that i'm going to be the one writing all the bloody cases once their competition starts.

oh, and CNY shopping has been a real bummer so far. all the clothes these days are either really ugly, or made of enough material to barely cover a mouse. and we all know i am no mouse. anyway, after i spent close to 6 hours trawling orchard with aud and not getting anything, my mom forced me into getting this auntie-ish outfit which is supposed to make me look demure. i even had to dump my plan of getting something totally oriental to increase my angbao takings because i figured that i would never wear it again and it'd just join all the stupid mandarin-collared tops that are wasting my wardrobe space. they're the kind which look really cool when you try them in the shop mirror, but look ridiculous once you wear them out. then again, that's how practically all clothes work. i have this theory that shop mirrors are actually Magic Mirrors which make you think that you look really good and thin and like you actually have a figure, which only puts you up to sore disappointment once you get home and realise that those jeans actually make your bum fat hang out and stuff like that. i desperately need a sale full of pretty wearable perfectly-fitting clothes to restore my faith in mankind!

feeling extremely shittified right now because for some reason my sister managed to clear my entire ipod of its songs which means that i now have AN IPOD WITH NO MUSIC :( :( :(

also, today is Day 1 of the Dreaded Detox which mind you isn't some cheapskate new year resolution or quick fix for a Fat Day. this, my friends, is hardcore. my chiro recommended a fully liquid diet of blended vegetables and vegetable soup and this smelly powder called 'Supergreens' which apparently packs 5 pounds of veges into 1 scoop. ooh vegetables, how exciting! and all this is supposed to shift my body's pH to its natural state which will make it easier for my spine to grow in a straight manner. and also, for every detox that i go on, i add 1 year to my life span. so this is why i have been drinking shit-coloured water and mashed cauliflower and making AVOCADO SOY MILKSHAKES the whole of today. if that sounds bad, wait till you taste it. all i can say is that this chiro had better not be bullshitting me.

as a result of this induced herbivorism, i am also experiencing a most shittifying headache and runny nose. this is supposedly a good sign because it means that the toxins are being flushed from my body. hurrhurr. and i still have at least 3 bloody days on this detox from hell! clearly this is the most disgusting health idea ever. except maybe the colon cleansing 'resorts' where people pay to spend a week stuffing a tube up their rectums to extract all the evil toxins from their colons. how anyone can actually do that to themself is beyond me.

and just to make things worse, one of my nails broke today. i painted my fingernails and toenails all metallic blue, so this is a very noticeable catastrophe. the metallic blue is to satisfy this little rebel streak in me which really isn't much of a streak if you consider that the best i can do is paint my nails an ugly colour. the only thing is that practically everybody stares and comments on my nails as if they've never seen anyone with blue nails before. like puhlease! it reminds me of the nightmare busking i did with audrey outside heeren last december, where everybody gave me these sick horrific looks when i put one leg on a chair and did a split from there to the floor. and audrey was like 'do your freak trick again sam, it's a real crowd pleaser'. sigh, and such is the story of my life.

oh and yesterday they were playing We Were Soldiers on TV and i was quite disturbed by all the bombs and explosions and people bleeding and dying all over the place. nothing i've never seen in a war movie before, but i just hate watching blood and violence. plus, my mom and dad apparently found it really hilarious to keep pointing to the screen and going 'look, it's a field camp!'. whatever.

i can't bloody wait for chinese new year!

today is the first day that i'm not waiting about expectantly for a phone call and that is because my favourite phone caller is at field camp for a week. fortunately i have iris (who's also missing her paul) to keep me company and we have built a great solidarity and an Operation Occupy Ourselves.

and so, as part of the Operation, i have started practicing the piano again. just now i conquerered the first page of schubert's impromptu in g flat major and sight read the next two. i think that this impromptu is one of those truly magical pieces which really capture and uplift you. the first time i heard it i had goosebumps and my heart started beating insanely fast. then when i actually took a look at the score and realised what the right hand needed to play i got majorly put off, as is usually the case. and so today i am quite pleased with myself because i've finally managed to balance the melody and the chords, and i must say it sounds pretty good! not quite as magical as the recording i listened to, and i still have 5 pages more to go, but i'm getting there alright...

oh and take a look at this list which the BBC compiled in 2004 from over 1000 Australian voters- in red are the ones which i really like and in green are the ones which i think suck:

The Classic 100 Piano Countdown


Beethoven Moonlight Sonata (Piano Sonata No.14 in C-sharp minor Op.27/2) ok it IS nice but no.1???
Bach Goldberg Variations
Debussy Clair de Lune from Suite Bergamasque
Satie Gymnopedie No.1
Beethoven Pathétique Sonata (Piano Sonata No.8 in C minor Op.13)
Schubert Impromptu No.3 in G flat major D.899/Op.90 so i have good taste after all!!
Traditional Chopsticks
Bach The Well Tempered Clavier
Schubert Piano Sonata No 21 in B flat Major D960
Beethoven Appassionata Sonata (Piano Sonata No.23 in F minor Op.57)
Mussorgsky Pictures at an Exhibition
Beethoven Waldstein Sonata (Piano Sonata No.21 in C major Op.53)
Chopin Fantaisie-Impromptu in C sharp minor Op. 66
Schubert Fantasia for Piano Four Hands in F Minor, D940 Op. 103
Beethoven Für Elise ELEVATOR MUSIC!
Chopin Polonaise in A Flat, Op. 53 "Heroic"
Schumann Träumerei from Kinderszenen Op. 15
Chopin Nocturne No. 2 in E flat, Op. 9 No. 2
Grieg Wedding Day at Troldhaugen
Chopin Ballade No 1 in G minor Op 23
Mozart Piano Sonata No 11 in A major K. 331
Schubert Fantasy in C "The Wanderer Fantasy" D760
Sinding Rustle of Spring
Bach/Hess Jesu Joy of Man's Desiring
Schubert Impromptu No.4 in A flat major D.899/Op.90
Beethoven Sonata No.32 in C minor Op. 111
Debussy Prelude No. 8 La fille aux cheveux de lin
Liszt Piano Sonata in B minor (G.178)
Chopin Etude Op.10 No. 3 in E
Liszt Étude de Paganini No.3 in G sharp minor 'La campanella'
Jarrett Koln Concert
Brahms Intermezzo Op. 118 No. 2 in A major
Liszt Hungarian Rhapsody No. 2 in C-sharp Minor
Rachmaninov Prelude in C sharp Minor Op.3 No.2
Chopin Etude Op. 10 No. 12 in C minor "Revolutionary"
Liszt Liebestraum No. 3 in A-flat (S 541 / III)
Liszt Benediction de Dieu dans la solitude from Harmonies Poetiques et Religieuses
Schumann/Liszt Dedication (Widmung) S.566
Beethoven Hammerklavier Sonata (Piano Sonata No.29 in B-flat Op.106)
Cage 4'33" i didn't know silence counted as a song???
Debussy Prelude No. 10 La cathédrale engloutie
Mozart Piano Sonata No. 13 in C, K 545 (Sonata Facile)
Schumann Carnaval Op.9
Schumann From foreign lands and people from Kinderszenen Op 15
Chopin Polonaise in A major Op. 40 No. 1 "Military"
Nyman The Heart Asks Pleasure First from "The Piano"
Chopin Prelude No. 15 in D-flat "Raindrop"
Rachmaninov Prelude in G Minor Op 23 No 5
Joplin The Entertainer
Schubert Impromptu No.3 in B flat D935/Op.142
Beethoven Tempest Sonata (Piano Sonata in D minor Op.31/2)
Chopin Ballade No. 4 in F minor Op.52
Chopin Nocturne No. 1 in B flat minor, op.9 No 1
Liszt Consolation No. 3 in D-flat major (Lento placido)
Ravel Pavane pour une infante defunte
Chopin Berceuse in Db major, Opus 57
Satie Gnossienne No.1
Bach/Busoni Chaconne in D minor (from Partita No 2 for Solo Violin, BWV 1004)
Chopin Nocturne No. 8 in D flat, Op. 27 No. 2
Chopin Piano Sonata No.2 in B flat minor, Op. 35
Ravel Gaspard de la Nuit
Beethoven Piano Sonata No.30 in E major Op. 109
Granados The Maiden and the Nightingale from Goyescas
Liszt Concert Etude No.3 in D Flat Major "Un sospiro"
Sculthorpe Left Bank Waltz
Bach Italian Concerto
Blake Walking in the Air
Chopin Nocturne No. 13 in C, Op 48 No.1
Satie Gymnopedie No.3
Schubert Impromptu No.2 in E flat D.899/Op.90
Brahms Handel Variations Op. 24
Chopin Nocturne No.20 in C sharp minor, Op. posth
Shostakovich 24 Preludes and Fugues
Mozart Fantasia in D minor K397
Schumann Fantasie in C Major, Op.17
Tchaikovsky The Seasons especially especially June, Barcarolle
Chopin Barcarolle in F sharp Op. 60
Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 1 in A Flat Major
Debussy Arabesque No. 1
Messiaen Vingt Regards sur l'Enfant Jésus
Beethoven Piano Sonata No.31 in A-flat Op.110
Chopin Piano Sonata No.3, Op. 58
Mozart Variations on 'ah vous dirai-je Maman' K265
Ravel Le Tombeau de Couperin
Beethoven Diabelli Variations
Beethoven Les Adieux Sonata (Piano Sonata No.26 in E-flat Op.81a)
Chopin Prelude No.4 in E minor Op.28 No.4
Brahms Rhapsody in G minor Op.79 No.2
Joplin Solace
Schubert/Liszt Standchen (No. 4 from Schwanengesang, D 957)
Brahms Waltz in A-Flat, Op.39 No.15
Chopin Andante Spianato in G, Op.22
Schubert Moments Musicaux Op.94 D780
Grainger Handel in the Strand
Liszt Paraphrase on themes from Verdi's Rigoletto
Albéniz Iberia
Schubert Impromptu No.2 in A flat D935/Op.142
Ravel Sonatine (1905)
Schumann Arabesque in C Op.18
Pärt Für Alina

ok so it's yesterday and i'm having the 2nd driving lesson of my entire life, when it starts to rain pretty heavily and my driving instructor casually tells me to DRIVE HOME. at this point my hands start to get really cold and i think hello i just learnt how to shift gears and use a steering wheel! and i don't even know how to control the brake! omg the last time i've been so scared was when i couldn't figure out the 8 mark trigo question during the As, and that was when i knew i was screwed to high hell. so this was pretty major, yes.

i think probably the scariest part was getting on the main road, which meant all these extra cars popping out from nowhere. and TRAFFIC LIGHTS omg i dread traffic lights! because i'm learning on a manual car (my dad says sports cars don't run auto) there's this added problem of the clutch pedal, which is is Not Easy to control the first time you step on it. and then when you brake at red lights you have to remember to release the clutch really slowly when you want to start moving again, if not the car will stall right in the middle of a friggin T junction. which was what happened to me twice yesterday. and then when we were nearing my house i remembered that my parents always have to make a U-turn to enter the slip road and i immediately panicked because hey i'm new and i don't do U-turns!!! lucky my instructor, who is, in case you haven't guessed, private, was on the alert and quickly took hold of the wheel before i rammed the car right up the divider. this was a very harrowing experience and i could have died. so i guess good things do happen.

today i went out with josie and walker for lunch at j8, and it was like reliving all the old times when we'd pon physics prac on wednesday afternoons. actually, come to think of it, i don't remember anyone else ponning except for mark and fishie. but whatever, time blurs memories. and everywhere we looked there were like these bubbly j1s and j2s going about in their sprightly ways and suddenly, i just felt so old. i mean, i even have to pay adult fare on my EZ-link now, how fair is that???

and now, movie review!

in her shoes- i really love cameron diaz! i mean look at her LEGS. they deserve to be in a leg museum or something. and whatsherface who acts as her sister is really unfortunate because who would look good next to miss diaz?? anyway my new Plan For The Future is to collect shoes when i'm rich. if i buy a pair of shoes everytime i'm depressed, i figure it'll save me a lot of pimples and a lot of time that would otherwise be spent on what my mom calls Wallowing In Self Pity. and then i'll build a special wardrobe thingy with glass doors and a dehumidifier where all my shoes would be colour coded and displayed nicely so that everytime i'm feeling down i can just look at them and i'll be happy. so yes, this would be money well indulged.

i have a thing for colour coding stuff. it makes me unbelievably happy.

football hooligans- ELIJAH WOOD IS SUCH A WUSS! he's like all skinny and untoned and he has a horrible gay voice. it's kinda like the david beckham curse except that he doesn't even have the face going for him. plus the movie revolves around a bunch of thugs inventing new ways to beat each other up, and whoever spills the most blood, wins. by the end of the movie i had seen so many heads being smashed that i didn't feel too well, and it wasn't just the tom yam soup that was setting my stomach on friggin fire. i hate fighting movies and this was no exception.

oh and good news- american idol is back on TV and we all know what that means- MORE RYAN SEACREST!! i swear, he gets better with every season =D

recently, i've been having a lot of weird dreams.

2 days ago, i dreamt that i found a fat white lizard with a stubby tail in my room. because i have a huge phobia of lizards, especially fat albino lizards, i screamed until my maid came and caught it. then, just as i lifted up my blanket to get into bed, i found another fat white stubby tailed lizard ON MY BED. and again i screamed and screamed, but this startled the lizard and it ran away. then when my maid came to save me she couldn't find the lizard and i was told to go to bed and pray that the lizard didn't climb on me in my sleep. at which point i woke up and found myself actually shivering and crying.

then, the day before, i dreamt that i was in the driving school, except that the school was this multi-storey complex and the task was to run through all the floors looking for the cars. it reminded me a bit of The Amazing Race. anyway after searching everywhere to no avail, i finally reached the top of the building, and there i found yingliang wearing a huge doraemon costume. and also, he was bobbing to and fro like one of those bu4 dao3 weng1s which can be pushed in all directions but never fall down. this was traumatising to say the least, as i'm sure anybody who's dreamt of their clasmate morphing into a giant stuffed toy will attest to.

and yesterday after a quick shopping trip with the family i somehow developed a very weird kinda headache. it was the type where you feel giddyish and all you want to do is lie down and fall asleep and never get up again. i presume it was a bit like a hangover, although the closest i've experienced to that was when i drank half a bottle of champagne on new year's and didn't feel too good the next day. anyway whatever it is i was feeling a bit airy in the head, so when i called mark i started rambling on and on deliriously on the phone and all i remember is him laughing psychotically and telling me oh you're so flirty today and that he never wanted me out of that mood. i really wonder what i must have said =P speaking of which, this is the week of the dreaded field camp, which means 7 days of no contact with the outside world. i think the funny thing about NS is that it makes guys wish that they have girlfriends and makes girls wish that they don't have boyfriends. hurrhurr, so maybe it's not such a funny thing after all :(

i am extremely tired. i just spent 2 hours walking around aimlessly in j8 because pravin dearest was supposed to meet me for dinner but stood me up. prav is totally not on my favourite persons list right now. anyway at least j8 has like shops; where there are shops, there is hope. and when i finally concluded that i wasn't waiting any longer, i was starving from lack of dinner but couldn't decide what to eat- you know how it is when you're so hungry that after a while you just don't feel like eating? unfortunately today i felt like eating EVERYTHING i saw which made it hard to actually make up my mind. so i was really glad when my mom called and was like 'just come home'.

so that ended my agony but what lay ahead was a monstrous 30 minute wait for 15-fucking-6 at the j8 bus stop. and then when the bus finally came, i ended up being squashed next to this pervy old man who kept leering at me. i am not imagining things. i kept thinking that if only i had worn my black stilettos, i could have shown his toes the meaning of pain. anyway eventually i managed to get home but, alas, i still had to cook myself a measly bowl of soba and chicken before i starved to death. i feel like such a third world citizen.

not that there's anything wrong with the third world, that is.

i NEED to watch the ending of dangerous liaisons. they played it on channel 5 at midnight on monday but it's a TV mini series so it was supposed to last till 4 am. it's got lots of french country scenes and colourful costumes and scandals so i could actually have stayed up to finish watching it, but i didn't want to have eye bags the next day. so i slept at 3.30, just when it was getting to the interesting part where they found out that valmont had gotten cecille pregnant. i canNOT believe how stupid i am, because now i can't find the show on any P2P network :( not that rupert everett is anything to look at, but i can't stand not knowing what happens! if anyone happens to have the file, i'll be eternally grateful...

oh and the only cool thing that happened today is that i discovered that walker and i got accepted to exactly the same college in durham. which is a huge coincidence because we both applied open. and now i'm thinking that i might actually be able to get over the fact that durham is years from civilisation and away from my pampered little comfort zone if me and walker get to bunk together throughout uni. then we can spend our evenings whining about how much we miss our respective guys and drown our homesickness in chocolate and ice cream and movies with cute lead actors. and that would actually be fun, so hmm.

today was another sad, rainy day. i woke up at 530 like i always do, thanks to the biological clock born from 12 years under merciless singapore schooling. then i watched the ep of america's next top model which i taped last night and by then i felt like sleeping again cos i was so bored. and when i next woke up, it was 11.27 pm!!! which is A RECORD because i'm the kind that can substitute an hour of sleep for a shot of caffeine, indefinitely. so yes, this confirms my that my transition into slothdom is well underway.

so i shall talk about the rest of the week now...

yesterday i went out with walker because we both needed comfort food and figured we'd be perfect company since we're both in pretty much the same boat. except maybe that i'm not going to durham and shifting to england in september. but otherwise we both hate cambridge and the army and wanted ice cream, and plus we make good shopping companions. and we got approached by model scouts TWICE in 2 hours, which i think is thanks to walker's micromini black skirt (which andy apparently hates). the first time we said we were australian and couldn't speak english and were leaving singapore tomorrow which got us a very dirty look from the guy. actually i said it and walker just looked away and tried her best not to laugh. which reminds me of the other time this guy approached me and mandy outside orchard mrt for a survey, and when he asked if we had time and we spoke english, mandy replied that 'we're portugese and in a rush'. and given that she said that in fluent english and the guy had seen us sitting on the bumrests for at least half an hour, i have no idea why he didn't believe us! :p don't ask me why i won't agree to do outdoor surveys!

oh and after the shopping trip i decided to go for evening pilates class on an empty stomach, which was a Very Bad Idea because the instructor went mad and made us do this series of crunches which went on for like 10 minutes nonstop. by the end of it i could feel my stomach dying. and it didn't help that i was dreaming of dinner throughout, which only worsened the agony. ah, the pain of being vain!

on tuesday i watched king kong for the second time and it was a very long 3 hours indeed. naomi watts is another one of those actresses with only one facial expression so it's a good thing she doesn't look like kirsten dunst. and what struck me was how come she never had a Wardrobe Malfunction despite being chased through a jungle and manhandled by a giant ape in only a skimpy silk nightie! this is unrealistic. oh and i can totally understand francine's mega crush on adrien brody now :D

oh and last thing- i'm now an accomplished cook. today i cooked soba again for lunch and i'm pleased to announce that the noodles turned out perfectly spongy and i didn't overcook the brocolli or peas! soba, conquered!

I HAVE A JOB!!!

i am now officially a Contributing Member of Society! specifically, i'm coaching debate at st anthony's, and possibly even TPJC if all goes well :D which means i might even have TWO jobs omg. as compared to last week's nadir of aimlessness and lazybumness, this is a quantum leap. the jobs aren't actually full time but maybe 3 hours a session a few times a week so it's not like i've a super hectic career woman schedule now or anything, but judging from last year's stint at allen & gledhill, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. i figure it'll at least keep me occupied for a while, which is good. plus i'll be getting MONEY too, which is even better. ahem. as i was saying, Contributing Member of Society...

before this i'd been calling schools everywhere asking if they need relief teachers but guess what nobody loves me :( anyway the pay is peanuts compared to this so the only people who should be sad are all the poor students who will never get to experience my top-rate math and chem skills. HAHA.

oh and to reward myself i went to borders and got this cool organizer thingy so that i can Get My Life In Order and you know not forget important dates like debate competitions and stuff. and then right after that my sister 'sold' me her Borders gift card which apparently (and this is highly dubious) has a stored value of $40 but was going at $17 after i bargained it down! so my life is looking up after all. now, all i need is that elusive pair of perfectly fitted jeans and i will die happy...

teehee!

watching the four feathers movie now and it's rapidly turning out to be one of my least favourite movies of all time. i'm picky about movie themes and these qualify as my least favourite:

1. war, especially the kind where the hero ends up mutilated or the cute soldiers die first
2. road trips, or anything which involves travelling
3. stuff set in ulu places or deserts or jungles eg africa or the middle east
4. ANIMAL stories kill lassie and nemo!
5. films about nature and conservation
6. films about old people
7. films featuring lots of men with facial hair
8. Sad Endings


in fact the only reason why i'm still watching the show is because heath ledger looks vaguely cute from some angles. so it really sucks that he spends half of it with a beard and scraggly hair.

oh and i saw elizabethtown just now with the sister and it's one of those movies with NO PLOT. i have no idea what it's even about. the only good thing though is ORLANDO BLOOM, who, unlike heath ledger, looks good from all angles. plus, since practically the whole movie is about him and, i suppose, his journey of self discovery, there are many close ups =D which reminds me that i forgot

9. journeys of self discovery

OH and kirsten dunst looks really fugly so HAH to all the guys who still think she's super hot just because of the wet kissing scene from spiderman 1. dudes, she has bad teeth and bad hair!

whee so yesterday i passed my basic theory test and am pleased to announce that i now have a provisional driving license! which means blind people and elderly beware =D ahem. actually, the test was really easy and has a lot of retarded things like:

When do you sound your horn?

1. To express annoyance
2. To greet other road users
3. As a warning

hurrhurr. basically the only tricky bits are the videos where you have to tell them which car should give way to which but as long as you remember to give way to everyone when you turn right and always keep left, you can't go wrong. oh and if you're thinking of cheating - i mean, checking your answers with the person next to you - you can't because they arrange it such that adjacent people never get the same questions. i know because i kept waiting for the guy next to me to get the question about bald tyres, but he never did. but hey i knew everything else, okay!

oh and the shitty thing about driving is that nobody believes that i'm 18 because i look like such a kid :( even yesterday when i made a supreme effort to stuff my contacts on (at 8 in the morning!) and wear a black shirt and act all confident and everything, i STILL got this very dirty look when i gave the tester my IC. for everyone else she just checked the names against the list and let them pass, but for ME, she made this exaggerated gesture of looking at my IC photo and then looking back at me and THEN raising her eyebrow. WHY???? maybe the huge bright pink plastic hoop earrings were a giveaway, hmm. but then again i thought they looked quite cute with my outfit so whatever. when i'm 50 and everybody else looks wrinkley and old, we'll see who's having the last laugh, hah.

incidentally, after i finally survived the queue and registered for final theory and the woman told me that the earliest date i could get was 1 feb because it was all - insert fake smile - "fully booked", i commented, rather loudly, to my mom that "i'll die before i get my license". at which point my mom burst into this uncontrollabe fit of laughter which made the whole room turn and look at us. and i was like just kill me now please, ugh.

anyway, that's what one hour of waiting does to a person, plus i was already in a grouchy mood because i had to get dressed at an ungodly hour of 8 in the morning. which wouldn't have been so bad had i actually got some sleep the night before, but this was not the case thanks to some very classic stupidity during the day. actually it was more like i thought i'd dilly dally and need to cram the handbook at night, so in between watching TV during day, i drank cup after cup of tea to prepare myself for the ardous task ahead. i mean, we have to remember that i haven't done any actual reading since the As ended, so my brain has been in unused state for a very long period of time already. anyway, going through the book took like less than 2 hours and i was all done by midnight and ready to go to sleep. but, as luck would have it, that's when the caffeine started kicking in. so i spent 2 hours counting the glow stars on my bedroom ceiling before i got so bored that i got up to drink milk and eat cookies. and then when that didn't do the trick, i resorted to rewatching the first 3 episodes of the OC season 2, which is how i ended up sleeping at like 5 in the morning. and to make things worse my mom barged in around 7 because she "knows very well" that i like to leave things to the last minute and i should "start studying" or i would be "an embarrassment to the family" if i failed the BTT. so that's how i became grouchy yesterday.

i am most surely going to die a long and painful death for this but anyway-

last weekend when mark booked out he was complaining about me blogging about him and NS, in particular about how i can't imagine him carrying a rifle and the terminal illness bit. and also the line about how "i'll miss all his stupid comments" because apparently, this insinuates that i do not actually miss him as in him the person. and so i said i'll post that "i miss him because i love him" and he said nah you wouldn't and i said you just wait it's my blog and i'll do exactly what i want with it.

and now, i have 2 days to run and hide!

feeling a bit bummed out now so it's time for some happy blogging therapy.

just realised that i haven't done the usual sentimental new year crap about growing up and becoming a better person and making resolutions like how i'll start Counting My Blessings and Being Thoughtful And Kind To People. well, we all know how those work out. in any case i don't feel any different now that it's 2006- it's like the new year just sort of happened. you know i was like watching the minute hand of the clock move to 12 and i was just like hurry up already. which is why i would really worry if i had kids because i can just imagine what giving birth would be like. i'd be such a total freak. maybe at the delivery room the baby would also just sort of happen, you know what i mean? damn, i'm so immature that i surprise even myself.

in fact 2005 just passed by the way every other day passed by, and it's not like i suddenly acheived enlightenment or something. the only real differences i can think of are that i finally found someone to whine to and that i survived the exam from hell and finished the last year i'll ever have to spend in school uniform. plus i studied more than i have in my entire life combined, which is something, i guess. and i lost like 4 kg since the start of J1, all of which appears to have come from only one area and it sure isn't my face. yes, so that was 2005.

sigh. suddenly i'm having this bright idea that i should just morph into a piece of driftwood and float across to tekong. that would be a good way to get over the lonely jobless lazy mood that i'm in now. maybe i could even pretend to be one of the boys because it's not like i have much of anything that could potentially give me away haha. except that i don't think i'll survive the communal toilets and the not changing underwear for 4 days thing. that is beyond gross. plus i would have to shave off all my hair and what if i have a pimply scalp or something.

maybe we should talk about movies.

narnia- i've never seen a movie with an uglier cast. i mean like there was not a SINGLE vaguely good looking person in the whole entire show, and this is coming from someone who gets crushes on C-list reality TV stars. the worst was the whiny youngest sister who's like always popping up to bitch about something in her irritating squeaky voice. who gives a fuck? i mean people like orlando bloom get away with having one expression because at least it's good to look at. so what's up with narnia? why couldn't the casting director like throw in a legolas or cedric diggory???

the family stone- sarah jessica parker looks tired and wrinkley and all the guys have square jaws. rachel mcadams looks a bit fat and clare danes is forgettable. the good thing is that the plot isn't draggy and it's genuinely funny at times. it's very predictable but it does leave you feeling nice and happy unlike all the other new-age comedies like prime, which left me feeling very unsatisfied at the end.

wallace and gromit- best movie i've seen this year! in fact i just watched it on monday with hongyi and mark and could hear hong laughing really loudly at some parts so at least i'm not the only one who likes slapstick. plus the mini penguin movie at the start was really hilarious too! i think i much prefer claymation to like the super high-tech 3-D disney animation shit where they code entire programmes so that even the friggin body hairs on the animals move individually and realistically. i'm glad this was a good movie because the last cartoon that i watched was finding nemo and all i remember was that i slept through half of it. i mean, what's more retarded than a movie about one fish looking for another fish???

and omg my driving theory test is at 9am tomorrow and as usual i've been intending to study for it for the past week but haven't done a single damn thing apart from think about it. and now there's like this whole handbook of 64 pages which needs to be memorised so that i don't like accidentally kill somebody when i get my hands on the steering wheel. i am only slightly fucking screwed, i believe...

today the good news is that i'm not sick anymore and have recovered completely from a sore throat and cough without any medication whatsoever. i am invincible! or rather, i was just too lazy to see a doctor and since i have lots of time on my hands, i've just been sitting around till the sore throat cleared up. i guess it does kinda help to eat tons of fruit and veges and drink green tea...

the bad news, however, is that i still have no job. yesterday i looked through practically all the ads in the classified and have concluded that i am Destined For Failure. there was actually this music school near my place that was gonna give me a job as a piano teacher, but it's mostly weekends and the contract will be for 18- 24 months. so obviously that's out. and then there's this job giving out flyers at somerset mrt but i don't think i'll survive. i'm a pussy :( and then there's this modelling agency which told me i was supposed to go for an interview many months ago but i mean it's modelling and it's ME so like HAHA to that. i suppose i could always do relief teaching in school but it's like 65 a day (which is actually pretty good come to think of it since all the rest are like 5-10 an HOUR) and i canNOT believe that i might have to subject myself to school hours again. and like what if i have to actually teach the kids something? i'd be screwed. so no relief teaching for me.

sigh. if only i were smart and/or tall and pretty, all my problems would be solved!

the new year is upon us!

today i greeted 2006 with a cough, sore throat and shitty eye infection. a brilliant start to a brilliant new year. so i spent like half an hour cleaning this yellow pus-like shit from my eyes and then my dad came into the room, was grossed out, and tried to get me out of bed to see a doctor at SNEC but of course i unequivocally refused to move. so that was that. now my parents are going on about conjunctivitis and iritis and poor hygiene with respect to contact lenses. ah well, luckily they're too busy about their party this evening to worry about a few silly red eyes so i'm off the hook for now... only too bad i have to spend the next few days in my slutty secretary specs which were bought in the hopes of transforming me into a studious person for the As and NOT for like the cool sophisticated mature 'trust me with a job' look which i'm trying to cultivate now. which reminds me...

I NEED A JOB! as of now my status is Useless Lazy Bum and the highlight of my day is shopping or watching debbie travis on TV. i'm useless! i'm hopeless! i have no future! i am destined to spend the rest of my life on the couch getting fat and flabby :( and then i predict next week i'll check my UCAS form and see "REJECTED" under all my uni applications and this will just reinforce the fact that i am a stupid fat freak which of course we all knew before but only now i will have official confirmation of this and will be excused for sinking into permanent depression and hibernating in my room till i die a grouchy old lady.

oh and my driving theory test is on friday and i haven't even like got the book to prepare for it! apparently though you can study for the test in a few hours so that's just what i'm going to do *crosses fingers* and mandy is going to lend me her book where all the important stuff is highlighted so hopefully i will be getting my PDL soon and then i'll be out to terrorize poor old ladies on the streets =D HAHA