i really meant not to blog anymore today but i'm just thoroughly peeved by a few things.

1. i did a really stupid thing today. it goes like this- after shopping for ten thousand years, i finally see the PERFECT pair of shoes. it's a pair of wedges and has some ribbony tie thingy that's made of really nice printed dark pink corduroy, which i instantly fall in love with. plus it would also perfectly match my stupid demure auntie outfit which i have to wear for CNY. anyway it's $69 which makes me feel really sad because i'm not planning on spending that much on shoes since i've already bought like 2 new pairs in the past month. but never mind about that, those were for different occassions and i really do need a pair to match my brown skirt. and matching your shoes is really important because all girls know that you can judge a person by her shoes. anyway, so after all this reasoning i am determined that i will starve if i have to, but i will get those shoes. so i finally ask the salesgirl to help me get a size seven. but then, as luck would have it, ten minutes later the salesgirl returns and there's no size seven! she does have a size six though and maybe i'd like to try those instead? but no, i tell myself that this is surely a sign that those shoes are not meant for me. so i walk out of the store as fast as i can and try to forget about the shoes. but guess what, i can't! all i can think about is that there's this perfect pair of shoes out there and it's just waiting for me to buy it. and the more i think about it, the more uneasy i get. so what do i do? i spend the next 2 hours compulsively storming into all the shoe stores in the WHOLE of the bloody orchard road stretch searching for the exact same pair of shoes in a size seven. eventually, i get a blister and craving for ice cream, but no shoe. anyway so of course i'm completely sad and keep talking about the shoe when i get home. which is when my brilliant sister, who has witnessed the whole saga, decides to pipe up and say 'actually, why did you ask for a seven when you're a SIX?'.

&*!#*$&*!&@$*!*@$&**~&!*~*&%@*!*&+#@#%^$!

omg. i mean, i've definitely done some retarded things in my lifetime, but this has got to take the cake. and the worst thing is that even if i go back and buy the shoes, i won't be able to do it before CNY, and then there'll be no point because i would have already worn my auntie outfit with non-matching shoes! :( :( :( :(

2. on the way home i had to take a completely packed train, and got squashed next to this cheekopek who kept leaning over to hold the bar that was right behind me. i could tell he was one of those leery old men who perv on innocent kids because he was wearing this really rough-looking unbuttoned grey shirt and a GOLD CHAIN and he just had that pervy look on his face. i was so fucking grossed out that i practically impaled myself into the train door in an attempt to get as far away from him as possible. and again i really wished that i was wearing something with sharp heels so that i could do so some damage, but all i had on my feet were the most harmless walking shoes ever. anyway i spent the whole trip giving him the 'fuck off' face but that didn't work, so i was fuming by the time i got off the train. and i thought nobody could get more annoying than parents who let their irritating toddlers who run all over the place and make noise.

sigh. and so that's why today has not been a good day. of course, buying a pair of shoes would have turned everything around, but no, that was not to be. buying shoes is the best kind of therapy. then of course there's always cheesecake and ice cream and champagne and big fat dark red velvety roses which bloom for a week. unfortunately since i have none of these Happy Things i shall just go to sleep soon and hopefully dream about my shoes or something.

yes, i know i am obsessed. goodnight.