the past week has been a tiring, albeit pretty slack one. i've been attached to the national eye centre, and i can now say with conviction that dealing with eyes all day is definitely NOT my kind of thing. at first i thought it'd be cushy compared to like oncology or neurology but after seeing a few trauma patients and some horrific images of abnormal eyeballs, i beg to differ. i even thought that being around patients complaining of eye problems would minimise the chance of getting any infectious disease from them, but having spent the past 2 days with a full blown flu, i know i was totally wrong about the whole opthamology thing. i am so stupid i can't even believe it.

anyway, to make things worse, today i had my law interview. which was great because i was having the worst fucking migraine of my life, and everytime i moved my head i felt like projectile vomitting. and every sound or smell or light that i sensed intensified this onethousandfold, so i was in a very bad state indeed. in fact i could feel the puke more than halfway up my windpipe the whole day, and the nauseating sensation of wanting to puke but not quite being able to is one of the grossest feelings ever. i think possibly only chronic constipation comes close in the stakes of annoying non-fatal symptoms, but then again i am glad i don't have much experience there!

besides this, my life is boring and i am a loser. i realised this painful truth when one of the eye surgeons asked me if i am "prepared to make sacrifices". and then he went on and on about how he missed out getting drunk with his friends and hanging out at parties and having a social life when he was an MO. and all the time i was staring at him with this incredulous expression on my face thinking, 'hello do i look like i even have a social life to begin with?'. then of course there's the second thing which his talk exposed, and that is how doctors think they're so damn noble. they think they're like virgin marys walking the earth. i mean, all he does is save a few eyes every month, so what qualifies -him- to talk about sacrifice?! practically every single doctor i've spoken to since i made up my stubborn mind about medicine has tried to discourage me with the hardships that preceeded their collection of ferraris. they should know they're not talking to a noob here- I WATCH GREY'S ANATOMY! enough already with the holier-than-thou attitudes.

to lessen the impact of me not having much of a life, i have decided that i need a few things: a new laptop, handphone, driving license, and SHOES. the only problem with the laptop and handphone is that my coaching pay is like five million years overdue so i currently do not have the resources that i need. the problem with the driving license is that my test is on july7 and i'll probably fail the first few which means that i'll go blind before i'm allowed on the roads. -legally- allowed on the roads of course. and the problem with the shoes is... well there isn't a problem with shoes. because lesson #1 is that you can never have enough shoes, and so is lesson #2 and #3 and #4 and #5 unto infinity.

the only glitch with shoes is that most shoes are for admiring and not wearing; inevitably any pair that looks nice on the shelf will be hell on your toes. and this is just something which i have come to accept despite me having fully trained myself with 3 inch heels over the past few years. all i have to do is slap on a pair of court shoes and i'll be hobbling about as if i've never used my legs in my life. i don't get it! court shoes are the most painful contraptions ever and most of the time they don't even look nice. people say pain is the price you have to pay for vanity, but in this case being vain isn't even part of the equation which really makes you wonder why court shoes are still around at all.