feeling grossed out with life in general on saturday, i decided to read The Unbearable Lightness of Being again, and it is indeed an excellent work. i love milan kundera. somehow his writing is so simple yet poetic and every sentence is perceptive and poignant. it is one of those books which absorbs you in thought, making you aware of the small events and decisions in your life, while trivialising the problems which you're caught up in. it makes you conscious of your unconscious. truly, at the end of it you feel that you've reached some kind of enlightenment. read it yourself to appreciate it!

in other news, yesterday i met up with audrey, faithee, mitch and jeanne at NYDC. it was great to see all of them, especially mitch whom i was so happy to see at the crossing outside paragon, because that meant that she was late too! 9 years down the road, and we are all still petrified of mandy's wrath :D

the other person i happened to bump into on my way to dinner was my jc civics tutor. i was blurrly typing away on my laggyashell phone about to use the ATM when suddenly i heard someone say 'sam?' and instinctively i thought ohshit. (nowadays i always seem to think that i'm in trouble, i don't know why.) anyway miss hor was super nice and we chatted for a while about how every med student finds cadavers gross and how the guys are doing etc etc. actually, the whole time i was quite distracted by the ginormous bag of mooncakes she was holding, and i was dying to peek inside! am i a horrible person?

oh and speaking of mooncakes- i (heart) ice cream mooncakes! the past few days i have just kept -happening- to walk into little mooncake stalls in shopping centres, and what can you do at food stalls but try the food? so far my favourites for this season are the bailey's and chocolate ganache ones at raffles' city, although the ginseng with wolfberries and otherstuff isn't too bad either. i want to get the raffle's hotel ones though, because they have oreos in them! oh and i've decided that my favourite snowskin flavour is pandan, and favourite filling is white lotus paste or mixed nuts :D and of course, NO EGG because egg is disgusting and i hate egg. haha :)

today i'm in a uber bad mood because i woke up remembering what a moron i am. yesterday, while taking off my contacts, i blinked a little too forcefully and the lens popped right out of my eye and got sucked down the sink. and i wear semi-hard lenses, which are not disposable. and so, i am now poorer by $190, which i will have to make up by packing lunch for the next 3 weeks. as i was saying, i woke up to one of those days which you just know is going to be crappy.

'tis the HOLIDAYS!!!!

well, not really. it's only one week and i have like tons of stuff to catch up on (including fitness) but nonetheless, it means NO WAKING UP EARLY! yes! now i can revert to my natural cycle of sleeping and eating like a pig, uninterrupted. today i have already done a good job of slacking, seeing as to how i have kept alive my friday ritual of doing NO WORK. i recommend it for anyone struggling with depressive issues.

school today has disturbed me beyond belief and i am now completely freaked and convinced that i will be the crappiest doctor alive and i will be insensitive and a bimbo whilst at it. a good combination for me living a happy carefree life, a bad combination for future patients. i keep reminding myself that here i am supposed to SAVE lives, and not shorten or worsen them. harrdeeha.

after school i had oysters at fish n co, a good choice considering the sight of mark's swordfish collar made me think of the damn scapula and proceeded to ruin my appetite. already, it has suffered huge blows since i felt like puking when i had to eat chicken stew and fish at dinner. and it was pomfret, btw, which is probably as far away from human resemblence as possible for a piece of animal meat. except maybe prawns or something. so i think i shall just have prawns for the next few days, which is good as i have a prawn soup craving which is still unsatisfied. then maybe i'll turn vegetarian or something or maybe even dessertarian, which would be like vegetarian only less healthy and more fun.

oh, and then when i'm done being retarded, i would like to try the dim sum place at food republic, which apparently serves deer meat pau! it was front page of classifieds yesterday, and looking quite good. i bet it tastes even better, but i wont be able to confirm this till i try it for real. definitely an addition to my To Do list for the holidays.

plus, i will exercise because i went jogging yesterday and today the flexors of my thigh are in pain. which means that my suspicions are true- i am fat and unfit now, and there is no escaping it. not good, considering the great eastern run is drawing nearer and i will be up for more pain and more embarrassment. time to sleep and dream up a healthy lifestyle plan now, so goodnight!

the weekend was a good one, particularly saturday when i got the news i have been praying for for so very very long :) it's as if this cross which has been weighing down on me is slowly being lifted, and slowly, but surely, things are looking up. i'm beginning to understand why things happened the way they did, and believe again that God works in His own ways and makes everything happen for a reason.

the other reason to celebrate the weekend: ARSENAL 1 - MAN U 0!! i'm sorry mark, but i think that just might go to show that arsenal is indeed the better team :D of course, mark was like all 'but who has more points?' to which i concede that man u has had a better start but, never mind, once thierry henry returns we will prove how we so nearly won the champions league this year :D

lastly: singapore idol sucks! jonathan sucks and hady sucks and we should all be ashamed for producing such substandard talent as the best -idols- our island has to offer.

the past few days seem to have flown by so quickly, and i've been mostly caught up with school and various other things which have cropped up. i've been trying to keep my back in an uninjured state, which means i've avoided doing anything potentially strenous, such as exercising. the only things i'm doing these days are swimming and yoga, and even then i stopped swimming last week. which means i am now a fully integrated unfit nerd. how sexAYe++ plus, the stress has not been doing any wonders for my digestive system, but i bet that's something you all didn't need to know.

in between the monotony of school on tuesday, i managed to escape to watch the devil wears prada with mark at the new cathay. it was the first time i've been there, and the place is super nice! anyway, the movie was just as nice, partly because of the humour, and partly because of the gorgeous clothes. my sister thinks anne hathaway's screen boyfriend is cute, but i think he has crappy hair. the only man i think looked good with curly hair is ethan zohn from season 5 of survivor :D you have to have a special charisma to carry off the look, and incidentally, charisma is something which i find guys over here are quite lacking. especially the guys here in medicine, whom as mandy would say are: SLIM PICKINGS! those that have looks have no personality, and those that have personality, have no looks. plus there is nothing more disappointing than a buff guy with a high pitched voice, as in the case of a certain someone's certain someone. anyway it's not like i'm looking or anything, because i have mark, who has become extremely caring as of late and insists on carrying all my heavy stuff and accompanies me on popiah raids. oh, and speaking of which, before the movie we discovered that the kopitiam at PS serves GM-sized popiah! if you're a popiah fan, i definitely recommend it.

in sadder news, the time has come for most of my friends to fly off to their universities overseas, so i feel like i'm losing them one by one :( once erica leaves, i'll be the only girl from 3J who'll be stuck here on a mega bond, which sucks. i'll miss tung, chrees, fishie, nic, erica, and of course walker who i think of whenever i see andy in school! haha and OH, did you know andy turned up as an arabian prince for DND? he wore like this bright blue shiny sleeveless vest and matching pants, plus headgear! it was RETARDATION man. i would post a pic if not for the fact that i know walker would kill me for the embarrassment!

as for tomorrow, i've got to do something Dreaded, which i am not looking forward to but am trying very hard not to completely stress out over. i'm really hoping that all goes well, but more so i'm hoping to accept whatever comes of it.

and i'm off!

i just ate 1 kg of longans in a sitting, and i feel like i'm going to die. my stomach is painful beyond belief, and it's as if the world is going to end at this very moment.

-groans and rolls around-

a few days ago i accidentally cut lanes twice while turning at lights, and now my mom is beginning to see what my instructor means about me being 'blur'. also, i have neglected to tell her that i haven't actually tried parking in public places where there are real live cars around and no poles for markers, and that i dare not because i can't get a proper view out of the rear of the damn car. i foresee this will not go down well with either of the parents, and hence also foresee that i won't be taking the car for spins by myself anytime before i hit 30.

next, school has gotten into full swing, and now the shit just hits the fan everyday. apart from the gazillion of bloody muscles involved in moving our fingers, what mostly stresses me are the mugger people around me. everday i see all these kiasu fuckers mugging like their goal in life is to memorise gray's anatomy, and i feel motivated to mug. then i go home and see my TV and bed and i have to remind myself that what i really want to do is rape kiasu mugger asses. when i have success i will post eagerly.

lastly, i never knew there was a whole community of girls coping with boyfriends who are addicted to WoW. and also, it surprises me that everyone agrees that while the boys are sweet and sensitive IRL, nothing would make us happier than if they kicked the habit, or took concrete steps to do so. these are steps such as reprioritising their goals in life and realising that WoW should cease to figure prominently at the top, and instead be placed behind other things such as real activities of any sort, including exercising, shopping and social interaction with real human beings, such as us. but of course since we love them very much and understand the evil temptation that WoW is, we are mostly willing to allow them to come to the decision to break free from it by themselves, provided that they come to it eventually. likewise it would follow that our love decreases according to the function of the time they take to reprioritise their life, and diminishes exponentially from infinite towards zero once a threshold of tolerance has been crossed.

one day they will thank us for this :P

last night was the annual medicine DND at meritus mandarin, where the theme was 'the last masquerade'. here's a memory of the night:



Tinkerbell

a strange phenomena i have come to notice is how being around cadavers makes you feel hungry. today my group had a particularly smelly body (probably in its early stages of rotting) and still, i wasn't the only one walking about rubbing my tummy in eager anticipation of lunch. in between formalin's assualt on the senses, my highly trained nose was able to associate the smell of rotting cadaver to roast char siew, and immediately, i kept thinking of char siew. since there is no way in hell that fingering rotting body parts can possibly stimulate anyone's palate, maybe this is just a very clever trick which the human mind uses to block out unpleasant experiences. clearly, our subconscious is more powerful than we know.

anyway, for the past 2 weeks i have had vegetarian food after anatomy prac, but today my hunger caught me off guard and i ordered a turkey sandwhich before i could ponder the ramifications. then when i flipped open the bread and saw the meat staring at me, i had a marginal urge to puke. but i soldiered on anyway because the bread was perfectly toasted and there are few things i love more than bread, except maybe cheesecake. in fact the thought of eating bread for breakfast makes me almost happy to jump out of bed in the morning, especially the really fat and doughy kind with lots and lots of crust. so anyway, this resumption of normal appetite is the first good reason to stop dreading fridays, yay.

apart from that, i think i am seeing the beginnings of a routine in which school is now a daily feature of. in previous years i spent much time in Denial, then Fighting Evil and subsequently Refusing To Give In. and then invariably i would fail a string of things and feel like a moron and be put through much lecturing before finally Submitting To The Dark Side. this time, it's like i've fast forwarded all the drama and just accepted the road ahead without a fight. school has barely opened 3 weeks and i am already studying almost everyday. so i guess i am now officially a freak, or a bigger freak than i already was. i can only hope that this phase of loserdom is a compulsory requirement for attaining maturity :P

haha, the irony.