the library is like a place of guilt, because everywhere you turn you see people who are mugging away and have been doing so for the last 5 hours, and it unsettles me a bit, it does. the innate kiasuism instilled in me by the singapore school system makes me feel as if i'm losing out on something, except that when i flip open my textbook i have a hard time fathoming what that something is.

on tuesday we had our first ward round with a highly chio cardiology consultant at TTSH. for the guys it was like instant love; i could see it on their faces! anyway there was quite a large group of us, and we all had to crowd around the patient's bed inside a tightly drawn curtain while the consultant was examining him. after like 15 minutes or so i started to feel a bit hypoxic, and my heart started beating really quickly and i thought i was going to faint. but just before i started hyperventilating, another girl in my group suddenly rushed over to the chair because she was about to faint too. at least that stopped making me feel like the world's greatest freak, and i was able to summon my last bit of willpower to remain on my feet until the consultant wrapped up soon after. talk about a bad first experience :P

when i told mark about it he reminded me of how i get squirmish easily, and that when i graduate i will be a prime candidate to become The Fainting Doctor. whenever someone with something gross walks through my door, i will stage my performance, and the nurses will rush in from the wings to take over. how i am going to survive giving rectal examinations during housemanship remains a mystery to me.

the other day i was with mark at the coffee grounds cafe, where raisin scones were giving me the strength to study. i just discovered that while i was studiously trying to slough through my notes, mark had been using my phone to take pictures of me in what he calls my Crabby Face. he says that's to show me the kind of look that i keep treating him with nowadays. 'tis disgruntling! i suppose i really need to smile more, but hey, i always knew i would make a great discipline mistress for recalcitrant brats...

all this studying has been no good for me! i've been having too much junk food lately and not exercising, and as a result my face is now fatter and more pimply than ever =X but nevermind, after exams i swear i will DEHOMOGENISE THE SIXPACK! dunch pray pray!