today i've been feeling really down about about some things, and i haven't been able to concentrate on anything. it's like i keep thinking about what i can do about it, and then knowing that i can't really. it feels like drowning in a glass tank while people watch you kick and scream, knowing that they care and yet not enough to save you.

speaking of which, i really hated that scene from the prestige. nobody should have to watch hugh jackson die, especially not over and over again.

oh and for anat today, it was face and scalp. which is like not only gross, but also freaky because many of the cadavers had their eyes half open and faces contorted into painful expressions. for the first time i felt genuinely spooked by the thought of being around the dead bodies, and started thinking about where their spirits were hovering, and particularly prayed they weren't anywhere near the anat hall. if i died and saw a bunch of pipsqueaks molesting my naked body, i would definitely feel totally violated. i wouldn't like it a single bit.

to make things worse, one of the girls (i think maybe hide or olivia) had to point out that the layers of scalp look exactly like chicken. the connection is like sick beyond words and it's ruined my appetite for chicken forever and ever. i think it just might be time to consider going vegetarian. i could be one of those who doesn't eat anything which walks, so then i could still enjoy prawn and fish and stuff. that doesn't sound too bad at all now.