this week has passed with a bit more difficulty than last week, and i find myself getting crabbier as the days progress. it is a trend i think, and it has something to do with impending doom that is the CAs followed by exams. it sucks being a student.

i can attribute the grouchyness and general alternation between indifference and depression to a few things:

1. i'm hormonal
2. i hate studying
3. i have so much to study
4. there is no end to the studying
5. my immune system is low
6. i'm lonely
7. i have no time to go out / exercise (haha)
8. datelessness :(
9. lack of social life
10. lack of tv
11. I NEED TO SLEEP MORE
12. i have insomnia when i do go to sleep
13. i have nightmares

on top of all this, i've recently developed worse orthostatic hypotension. it's so much so that i black out for a few seconds almost everytime i get up from the couch. apparently, this can be triggered by periods of stress and anxiety, which means that i now have a valid medical excuse: ALL THIS STUDYING IS DETRIMENTAL TO MY HEALTH. and i can't even begin to imagine how much damage eating compulsive processed junk food has done to my system, like since meiji crackers and generally all the dry biscuits and preserved food that i like to eat appear to be carcinogenic. AND MY FACE IS LIKE A COLONY OF PIMPLES!

dammit, i hate myself. but i hate the world even more! hah :P