mark and i were discussing after exam plans, when he finally gave in and said that he knows what my perfect destressing activity is: five hours of uninterrupted shopping.

yea baby, I CAN FEEL SOME CHRISTMAS SPIRIT!!!!!!!

today and yesterday have just been so bizarre.

minutes after i realised how ongweiyi is indeed the ALMIGHTY in neuro, i was told that my sis had a detached retina and was going for an op today. when i heard that, i was like ?!?!?! just earlier that morning she confessed that the vision in her left eye had become distorted in a "wavy" way. we thought maybe it was an inflammation or something. but a detached retina??? at her age????? how suay could she be????

apparently suay enough to be that 1 case in 10 000. sigh.

so anyway, today i followed her to the hospital, all sleep-deprived from helping her settle things and pack her bags etc etc. then her surgeon, who happens to be a long time friend of my parents, comes in to ready her for the op, and asks me if i want to watch the op in the OT. like scrubbing in, except that i'm not allowed to touch anything. haha. the thought of watching him stick a bunch of silicone into her retina doesn't sound that appealing to me, but my sis demands that i go. so i do! and omg, all i can say is that it is SO FREAKY watching someone's eye get cut open. it was like she was watching us the whole time! the eye is like the grossest organ ever man, ew.

oh, and while i was in the OT, i was interrogated by BOTH the anaesthetist and the surgeon. they were like asking me how many mm wide is the trachea, which extraocular muscle am i on now, what is an endotracheal tube, what is the fluid that seeps in between the tears in the retina... and i'm like thinking, 'this is great, i have pharmaco, patho and cancer on monday, and they're asking me to remember stuff from anat which i couldn't even remember last year????' i can just imagine that it so sucks to be an intern! sigh, and something tells me i have A LOT of work to do before clinicals next year...

anyway, my sis is doing ok now, although she was kinda high when coming off the GA and was providing entertainment to everyone in the recovery suite. really like mer when she had her appendectomy! overall, the whole thing has just felt so surreal. and of course i feel kinda bad (and worried) for my sis cos of what she's had to go through at her age, plus she's bummed that she'll be missing her prom on monday. whilst being wheeled to the OT, she was telling everyone that "this op is sucking" and that everything "sucks big time". oh well. i just can't wait for monday to be over. then it'll be freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedom! heee!

i need to shop! and dance! and get fit!!!!

after my last post, things got rapidly worse for me as i fractured my 4th toe doing something stupid, as usual. and the pain was so bad that i actually saw the UHWC doc for it! which was almost a complete waste of time, because she told me to go back on tuesday to get it xray-ed. but anyway i think the xray isn't usually diagnostic for such fractures, so i took the liberty of not going for it. the pain was already much less, so i didn't see what good it would do for me. except like take away a whole bunch of precious time from me which i could use to do something more productive, like perhaps study for my neuroscience CA which will be happening in approximately 12hours and 24mins from now.

the good thing for NS is that apparently everything that will be coming out tomorrow will be taken from this review lec we had a few days ago. which is why i've decided that i will not be studying the visual and auditory pathways, together with local and general anaesthesia and neuromuscular blocking agents. oh, and opiate drugs too. if any of these come out tomorrow, all i know is that i am going to be in such a deep state of shit that i probably won't be able to crawl out in time to take patho and pharmaco on monday.

haha. i shall definitely be praying extra hard tonight!

goodnight all!

hi friends, i'm in trouble. since lunch, and i mean after lunch and not before, i've been having a RAVENOUS appetite. it's not like the usual mealtime hunger thing, it's like the my-stomach-is-spontaneously-digesting-itself kind of hunger. the eat-every-damn-thing-you-can-find kind of hunger. and so, i have been doing just that. i've been eating practically every edible thing within reach, including a jumbo packet of ovaltine biscuits, a quarter loaf of bread, ovaltine 3-in-1s, HALF a TIN of those stupid danish butter cookies (christmas edition!) and another half a tub of pineapple cookies that are like as big as my fist. i kid you not. AND I'M STILL HUNGRY!!! omg, it's as if i awoke from hibernation and haven't eaten in months! and after dinner, i only became MORE hungry, and continued binging compulsively. it's as if all the pent-up stress and anxiety have caused my gastric glands to suddenly hypersecrete acid continuously, and as a result i just have to keep eating and eating and eating. seriously, it's like affecting my life cos i can't even concentrate on anything without thinking about what i can eat next. i have become an eating machine!!!

i sms-ed mark worriedly that i might be dying or going into acute shock, but he seems to think that dying people tend not to eat a lot. he says i might have worms in my stomach! gross!!!! will i start shitting out little tapeworm eggs too??? or maybe all my fantasies of living a life of laziness and indulgence are being granted, and i'm morphing into a pig! will i be a pink pig (like babe) or one of those fat ugly black boars??? i don't want to be a big pig!!! :( :( :(

oh, and in other news, i watched stardust with mark on monday. i love it!!! it's so nice!!!!! tristan is so cute!!! especially when he starts wearing all those 'manly' clothes and starts fighting to save yvaine and all. and omg the star is so cool! but i think clare danes was SUCH a turnoff. they should have like given her a mask or something, although her voice was not bad for the part. clare danes is ruining the reputation of stars throughout the universe! i'm so jealous :P i wish i could be a star too! and glow! heee

and lastly, i'm sick :( plus, i'm injured. i pulled a tendon in my right knee and right ankle doing this stupid gymstick workout during pilates. and bruised my left knee walking into 2 tables on sunday. i think i need to be less clumsy. my mom says that if i want to 'walk fast', i need to 'think more', but i dunno what that's supposed to mean. i blame all this on my poor psychomotor skills! maybe a part of my brain was retarded since birth. that would mean i have no chance of ever living a normal, clutz-free life :( am i destined to spend the rest of my life walking into tables??? i hope not!