FRICK! My sis is going to watch maroon5!!! I'm so incredibily jealous!!!! i didn't really like the mix of It Won't Be Soon Before Long, but i used to be crazy over Songs About Jane! And I heard Adam Levine sounds great live, especially when he sings in his normal voice, which is lower and 'grungier'. I WANNA GOOOOOOO! And it just HAS to be like a few days before pros?

Medicine is totally ruining my life!!!

Sigh, whatever. But if OneRepublic or The Fray ever tour here, I'll definitely be going!

Happy Good Friday!

Last night, I didn't sleep at all. And when I mean at all, I mean zero, zilch, nothing. I went to bed at 4.19am after spending a few hours saying "Fuck, fuck, fuck" everytime I flipped to a new set of the neverending ID notes. Unfortunately, by 6 am I was still unable to sleep, so I got out of bed and attempted to read though some notes. Nothing went in. Then I attempted some MCQs, and got everything wrong (refer to the Loser's Guide below) and then decided to take a shower and get ready for school. So I was dressed by like 7, went to bed again, and tried everything to make myself go to sleep. This included praying, reciting the names of fungi, counting, drinking hot drinks, telling myself over and over that "I am damn friggin tired, I am damn friggin tired", trying to clear my mind, visualizing green pastures etc etc. Nothing worked.

In fact, I tired myself out from the whole effort of -trying- to sleep =x And when I did finally manage to get into a bit of a light sleep, I was awoken 10 minutes later because I had to leave for school. I was totally stoned as I was making my double shot instant coffee. Physically I was dying of fatigue, and yet my damn brain kept spinning with all kinds of random useless thoughts, like all the permutations of how I could rearrange the furniture in my room to make space for new stuff. It was so bizzare- to be mentally awake and yet not mentally alert. I could barely process getting my things together to leave the house.

So I guess out of all the anxiety attacks I've been through before exams, this has definitely got to take the cake. Although how the hell I managed to work myself into such a state over a friggin microB CA is a mystery. I was definitely feeling unprepared for it, but it's not like that's new or anything. Truly, I must be such a freak. Hurrhurrr.

Anyway, now that the CAs are over (in all senses of the word) I hope that at least all this insomnia nonsense will come to an end. I'm looking forward to spending a day or 2 just sitting around and rotting my lazy ass off at home. That, and of course shopping :D

The Loser's Emotional Guide To Attempting Microbiology Questions:

If you can answer 0 questions:
Fuck. I've deprived myself of a social life for the past few weeks, and now I still know shit about shit. I really should kill myself.

If you can answer 1 question, and the other options look hazy:
Omg, I KNOW I totally wasted my time on those damn tables. They probably don't even have half the shit I need to know. Or maybe I just need to go and revise them another 5 million times. Or maybe I'm just too stupid. I need to get back to my sidereel!

If you can answer 2 questions:
I actually managed to squeeze 2 answers out from my friggin overloaded brain, and now I am officially a mediocre student! This sucks! Hmm, maybe I should just screw the negative marking and attempt the rest of the questions...

If you can answer 3 questions:
YEAH BABY, I'm going to pass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you can answer 3 questions and the rest look familiar:
I MUST NOT BE GREEDY! I must resist the temptation to fill in rest, because it will take my sorryass borderline pass to a possible 1/5, or 0/5, and then, I might as well have just re-watched that last season of Greys.

If you can answer 4 questions:
I even know the obscure little funny pieces of shit info that aren't even from the notes! I must be pyschic!!! Or a complete freak!

If you THINK you can answer all 5 questions:
This is unbelievable!!! In fact, this is just too good to be true! IT'S TIME TO SECOND GUESS MYSELF AND ERASE ALL THE ANSWERS WHICH ARE PROBABLY RIGHT BUT I NOW THINK MAY BE WRONG!


That's right my friends, we can never win at this. MicroB is just like the worst fucking subject ever.

Much love for tomorrow's paper! :D

question: Which tutor will be getting straight 5s for feedback this term?
ans: OWY THE ALMIGHTY!

Haha, damn I love that guy. All tutors should learn from him, and give 'review lectures' where they tell us the answers for upcoming papers. And all students should learn never to doubt him!

I was kinda happy with NS, on account that it's probably the paper that I've been least screwed for in like the past 10 million years. But then mark had to start talking about the hippocampus and like the damn SUBICULUM, and then I knew that I was totally not going to ace that question. And then my big fat greek bubble just burst into a thousand pieces because I came to the realization that I will never get full marks on any test in my entire career in YLLSOM. Haha, med school is so not the place to go to boost your self esteem and all. And also, this just proves that it is always better not to know. Sucks to be me, i guess :P

Anyway, so now I am attempting to study genetics for tomorrow. I just know that I'm big time screwed because caroline lee is one helluva old boring woman, and there's just nothing in her notes that jumps up and says "REMEMBER ME!". They're one of those uninspired loads of crap that you wanna just get over with and like erase from memory as soon as the exam is over. But then again, I seem to feel this way for all things these days.

And also, what's not helping is that I haven't been able to sleep lately. When I go to bed at 2 or 3, I only fall asleep close to 5, and as a result I don't think I've slept for more than 3 hours at a go in the past week. And I'm just SO FRIGGIN TIRED. It's times like this when I hate myself and feel like the world's greatest loser. Can't wait for Friday to be over man, even if it means that my microB has to eat shit and die. Which it will, I am sure. Hurhurrrrs.